Stretching The Truth

AITOOW who thinks Katie Couric got some work done recently? And I don't mean reporting.

Speaking Of Fatties

AITOOW who thinks The Biggest Loser turns obese people into merely fat people?

No Spanks

AITOOW wants Spanks outlawed? Take about false advertising. While I haven't had the displeasure of encountering them during a makeout session, I can just hear Rob Lowe in my head when he was trying to get it on with the chubby blond in St. Elmo's Fire - "Is that your scuba suit"? Please girls. It's enough to have to deal with your padded bras, makeup, colored hair and reconstructive surgeries. Do you really want to be the butt (no pun intended) of all his friends ribaldry? We will kiss and tell. And we won't respect you in the morning. Cheating won't end in eating. Try discipline and exercise.

John, George, Don and Ringo

AITOOW has finally found out what region Donald Trump is channeling with his purse lipped neo nasal moan? He talks like Paul McCartney. Now I don't know if that's a Liverpool thing, but, at least we can find one other soul with that odd speach affectation.

Monkey See, Monkey Doo Doo

AITOOW thinks that shoe throwing guy in Iraq is the same as poop throwing monkey in a zoo? If shoe throwing is your culture's method of showing disapproval, you have the same measure of civilization as a pack of monkeys.

Cel-u-lite

AITOOW hates celphone commercials? Let's start with that douche bag CEO of Sprint. You're not charismatic. You're a dingy, bald irritant. And way to play from the advertising history book of creativity - the CEO spokesman. And $99 for unlimited service is neither cheap nor revolutionary. You seem like the last person I would listen to. No wonder your stock is at $6. Next let's rip on (I think it's Sprint/Nextel again - though not sure, so how's that for effectiveness) that retread of a disaster from last year. That Beyonce spot with her shaking her hippo like flat chested cellulite to the Upgrade song. It's nauseating. And who choreographed that lame dance number? I keep waiting for Jay Z to coat tail one of his Bobby Brown quality rhymes into it. At least it shows thrift on the companies part. Too poor to spend on production this year?

Call It What It Is

AITOOW is sick of people making up justifications for acting selfishly? I just saw an article on taking a Babymoon. Now I don't care if you want to go on vacation. But, don't try and justify it. Just take it. You don't need a cute little excuse to justify it. It's your money. And if you do need to label it, then maybe you should listen to your guilty conscience and forgo it.

Rip Off

AITOOW thinks the plot of Twilight was better when it was called Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Let's see...a teenage girl falls in love with a nice, brown haired vampire (Angel) and is threatened by a white haired vampire (I forget his name in Buffy). It's ridiculous that this is a hit.

Chin Music

AITOOW who can't understand how Jay Leno is a star. He's ugly. He's not funny. He's fat. He has no charisma. He has no talent. He's a dork. I just can't understand how we pick celebrities. This guy is proof that Faustian bargains can be negotiated.

Before and After

AITOOW finds it funny that actresses in the pilot season of a show that becomes a hit have smaller tits than when the series resumes? I just saw a re-run of House and the female lead had an A cup. Doesn't now. Just as well as it seems that their asses swell up as they get money to feed themselves and/or the daily work grind has them noshing at craft services all day and night.

Foozball

AITOOW thinks the BCS game will be more like Arena Football than gridiron?

Have It Their Way

AITOOW can't make heads or tails of the menus at fast food restaurants? They obfuscate every menu item behind their value meals. You can't find individual items. You can't find their costs. They play this stupid game of hide and seek beyond comprehension. Stop trying to upsell your customers. Just list the items on your menu like normal people.