Comical

AITOOW thinks there are two maybe three pointless/non-super Avengers? Two of which were not even good enough to get their own movie. And why can't Bruce Banner just take an anti-depressant or mood inducer so he won't get angry? I still don't get how if Thor is a God how anything can beat him.

Cowardly and Lyin'

AITOOW thinks Dwight Coward is more Bizarro than Superman? And this has nothing to do with the injury. It was bad enough he stole the nickname, but, he single handedly reversed the correlation in one season.

Twin Cheeks

AITOOW thinks the following people look related? Dolly Parton and Joan Rivers. Andre Agassi and Pauly D. Bryce Dallas Howard and Jessica Chastain. Jeff Goldblum and Jon Cryer. Jason Siegel and Armie Hammer. Chris O'Donnell and the kid from Hunger Games. Matt Damon and Amanda Peet.

It's Not Success

AITOOW wonders what the odor is like at a black strip club?

Shug Bite

AITOOW knows that the more moist a baked good is the more sugar it has in it? They also replace fat with sugar in those low fat items.

Ooh Baby Baby

AITOOW wonders why teen birth rates are really down? Is it because girls are getting pregnant before they become teens? Is it because more parents are out of work and at home? Are more of them gay? Are shows like Maury scaring them? Is it morning after pills? Are teens no longer meeting face to face (just sexting)? Are more teen boys being serviced by adults (ie teachers).

Red Handed

AITOOW wonder how long it will be before there is an article on how some small town in the third world has lost its only source of income because some ridiculous vegans (who purport to be culturally sensitive) made Starbucks stop using lady bugs to color their fraps?

Tray-gonometry

AITOOW thinks the one thing the Trayvon incident teaches us is that blacks are more obsessed with ego than death? The only reason they are outraged is that a non-black emasculated the race by killing one of their own. If the "death" aspect of the incident was the worst aspect to them then every death would meet with this kind of outrage. But, they aren't appalled by the crime or even that the victim had the same skin color. If they were loyal "race" obsessives, every black on black crime would have a parade (err protest). No. What they care about is an affront to their ego from a non-black to their paper thin black pride. They just can't handle that the perpetrator wasn't black. It re-enforces feelings of inferiority and powerlessness. Which are paramount to an adolescent consciousness.

BTW - how tiny is Zimmerman?

To No A-Vail

AITOOW was glad to hear the ski season was a bust in the West? Take that dicks in Colorado who raised lift tickets 20%.

Offensive Marriage Act

AITOOW swears they remember Brad Pitt saying that he would only marry Angelina when all people who wanted to get married could get married? Guess that was another empty gesture from an opportunistic Hollywood fraud.

Sex, Lies and Media Drape

AITOOW thinks the Secret Service story will be swept under the rug by the media to save Bore-ack embarrassment? You know if this happened under a Republican's watch they would be clamoring about how this (encouraging prostitution) is just another piece of evidence on a war against women. And anything less than a "high tech lynching" would be seen as complicity. I'm not anti-SS and I believe that prostitution should be legalized, but, didn't Congress pass a law a few years back that made Americans liable for participating in acts that are illegal in the US while they are in foreign lands? I believe it was to stop sex crimes in particular. Who wants to bet that no news cast will be calling for charges to be filed against the agents. Once again to avoid embarrassing the Bore.

The Zit Bearded Lady

AITOOW wonders when they see a girl (who looks like she wears sensible shoes) with rashy acne all over her chin and cheeks if it is the result of going downtown on another girl? How else do you irritate that region?

Hillary Care Part 2

AITOOW doesn't understand how anyone is lauding the achievements of SOS Clinton? The post could have been vacant for the past 3 years and the results would be the same if not better. Dialogue (unilateral) with Iran. Result? No change in their behavior. Easing sanctions on North Korea. Result? Rocket testing and possible nuclear test. Missile reduction and selling out Poland by canceling the missile shield to appease Russia. Result? Nada. Middle East Revolutions. Result? Muslim Brotherhood takes over. Mexico. Result? Increased drug violence. Venezuela and Cuba? Nada. Pakistan? Nada? Afghanistan? Nada. Removing troops from Iraq? Instability. It has been a complete disaster. Now I'm not saying that some of those things weren't inevitable, but, where is the achievement? Selling out Israel?

Wet Ink

AITOOW thinks the newer their stufff - the newer their money?

The New Hooded Lynch Mob

AITOOW knows that prosecutors (special in an Olympic sort of way) only bypass grand juries when they know they won't return an indictment if they are seeking one? They are mainly used to provide political cover for an unpopular indictment or in cases where the evidence is weak. So what does this say about her feelings about the jury pool or the evidence or the grand jury system or her biases? The evidence is weak and there is no political risk in prosecuting because it is the victim's political group that is all atwitter. It looks like she wanted an indictment and wouldn't let the system frustrate her. Did you really expect anything else from someone for Blacksonville. It's almost as if she felt threatened and took matters into her own hands instead of letting the system do what it is paid to do.

BTW - has anyone seen a recent picture of the victim? He looks like Amare Stoudemire. He's huge. Nice to know he was on suspension from his HS for weed possession. Probably haven't heard that from your favorite news sources. Reminds me of Thomas Wolfe's Bonfire of the Vanities where they try and fictionalize the story of the victim. In that story, the victim was run over by a white couple. It caricaturizes some of same muck rackers that are fomenting disorder in this case. I hope Zimmerman's lawyer has read it. His case is the same song different verse.

Ad Wizz-ards

AITOOW hates the following commercials?

ATT's where some yenta in training gives her boyfriend the silent treatment. Could you be more of a JAP? I dated a JAP once and this girl is a perfect caricature of her annoyong cliches. Did the ad execs (from Jew Nork?) really think we think kind of snootiness and oy veh demonstrating is endearing. It's grating and degrading at the same time. Please don't leave the island.

Brighthouse's where they try to be "a friend". A friend doesn't force you to pay for something you can get for free. A friend gives you gifts. A friend doesn't put you on hold. A friend doesn't force you to buy packages. A friend doesn't break down constantly. A friend doesn't charge you to be a friend.

Domino's cheese crusts. First, it is just cut up crusts - hossah. Second, they say "big ideas" (this is a big idea?) don't usually come from the ground up. That's wrong. They just don't in tone deaf corporations that rely on consultants or their own squalid imagination - ostensibly like Dominos. Third, the CEO laughs when they say the guy who came up with the idea should become CEO. Why not? Why is this tool so much better? It's f-in pizza. How smart do you have to be stay the course on that. That guy couldn't even come up with the insanely complicated concept of cutting up crusts and powdering them with Parmesan. And his condescending dismissal of the suggestion just makes him look like the self interested corporate dick he probably is.

Im-material Girl

AITOOW who thinks Madonna's new song Beautiful Killer was probably penned at the same time she did that song for the James Bond film (90's?)? I'd bet dollars to ho-nuts that it was rejected for the movie but made it onto her new album because she couldn't come up with enough "material". Don't ask me how I came to hear the song. I'm sure you haven't heard it and have no idea what I'm talking about.

Coyote Ugly

AITOOW has figured out that the reason that guys don't call after sex is that they have sobered up?

Contra-per-ception

AITOOW wonders why people are fighting for free contraception for people who don't and won't use it to begin with? Have you ever seen an episode of Maury?