...It's An Adventure

AITOOW is a little sick of cooks, mechanics, pencil pushers and all those soldiers on their first tour of duty getting praise for their commitment in Iraq? Most of you were there just because you couldn't go any further academically or couldn't get hired elsewhere. Let's save our praise for "real" soldiers - combat soldiers (they really should have special uniforms).And those who actually saw some. Not that they expect it because they know what they did is what they are expected to do.

Don't Shoot The Messenger

AITOOW thinks that people who sanctimoniously tell you "There But For The Grace Of God Go I" are all but incriminating themselves? What is their shame? And once again how does this sentiment jibe with free will? If God intercedes, there can't be absolute free will. And this statement (the but for part) seems to posit that only the grace of God can keep bad things from happening to you. Your actions are superfluous. Such as not calling out a loser/sinner. So you have no control over your exhortations any way and others shouldn't reprimand you for them. But, they can't help doing so for the same reasons (maybe God wants you to know their shame and that's why he makes them say it), so the fault for teasing people that God disadvantaged lies with God. He must want you to tease them and the people who use the phrase. Now I get it.

The First Fifth

AITOOW wonders what was the first secret secretive people had to keep?

Mary Mar(r)y Quite Contrary

AITOOW wonders how many family fortunes were made by gay guys or girls marrying the rich guy or girl their parents wanted them to because they really didn't give a shit (because they weren't into any of the opposite sex anyway)?

Metric For Sale

AITOOW wonders why an increase in gross retail sales figures is such an important metric to people? It doesn't really tell you what individuals are doing with their money. It is just a measure of prices times people. It should be growing. Population is growing. As such it is an easy hurdle to master. It's worthless to all but the most shameless grand standers for economic health. It can only go down if prices drop disproportionately or people stop spending as much per capita. Right now that figure doesn't tell us which it is. If sales are down because of a price drop then we can see the retailers themselves may have miscalculated/panicked and are to blame for the decline. This is not a cause for concern. If it isn't price depreciation then (when we deduct the increase in sales due to population increases) it is frugality/the economy and we might be concerned. They need to compare year over year prices as well. Gross sales is a stupid/lazy metric. It can be skewed to the upside by population growth given a false impression of economic growth and it can be skewed to the downside by price deflation.

Unintended Consequences

AITOOW thinks it is ironic that bringing home the troops to pander to Democratic voters (and ensure they vote in November) will result in more votes for the Republicans? Most soldiers vote Republican. There has always been trouble making sure their votes were included. Now they are back in the country and can go to the polls.

Do You Fear Me Now?

AITOOW wonders if cellular phones decrease the severity of car crashes? Everyone seems to feel they have the capacity to distract drivers. Which means more accidents, I'll stipulate. But, are those accidents less injurious than the accidents some of these people would cause if not "distracted" and driving like their usual selves (maniacally)? Every idiot I see on the phone seems to be doing 30 MPH. They probably will cause an accident at some point because of that phone. But, is it more often than not a fender bender? It's like the driving drunk versus stoned argument. I'm not against a ban. But, it is not because of the accidents. I hate the idiots going only 30 MPH and want them to die in a firey accident and that can't happen if they are distracted.

Horse Of The Same Color

AITOOW thought it was typical that Chelsea Clinton did her first story on someone who we are supposed to revere because she (among other things) financed the education of some hard luck cases? Oh, but, wait she didn't. Her creditors did. That's right, this "saint" declared bankruptcy. So the money she used to inflate her reputation came from the pockets of innocent people. How Clintonian.

Dwight Coward

AITOOW thinks this supposed Christian soldier is more lamb than lion? Then again having a child out of wedlock probably made that whole good citizen thing laughable to begin with. These guys are all talk. It is funny to see a guy who was marketed as (and considers himself) a superior individual, roil with his fellow swine in the slop of his own selfishness. I suppose this the type of behavior you get from a man raised as he was.

News Bully-tin

AITOOW doesn't understand why "the cool kids" bully the "good kids" when there are so many jerk offs and egotists who could use a good smack down? Take a typical high school movie plot. The prom king invites the nice, quiet wall flower to prom where they pick on her. What sense does that make? How is she an irritant to anyone? How does anyone even know she exists? What has she done to earn their emnity? Now the real plot should be - he invites the mouthy gangsta bitch to prom and they crush her ego. Now that would make sense. Everybody hates that person. You could believe that emnity.

Stop And Don't Smell The Roses

AITOOW thinks eco-tourism is just a way for people who were being criticised for encroaching on places they were curious about (but not welcome in) to mollify their guilt by creating an accredited subset of trespasser? Or a way for hosts to reap more of a profit by offering less of an experience.

Bumping Fuzzies

AITOOW thinks lesbianism can be explained with three words? Genetics. Abuse. Repression.

All I Want For Christmas Is Booze

AITOOW feels sorry for the people in a non "hook up" bar? I mean how bad is your home situation that you feel the need to pay someone what they charge at a bar and risk getting a DUI versus drinking at home. These people don't talk to anyone there so it can't be for companionship. There are no girls there so it can't be for sex. They can watch sports at home. It's pathetic.

Diet and Exorcise

AITOOW wishes they would stop publishing stories to try and get people with certain lifestyles to change them to increase their life spans? They obviously don't want the years they have left let alone more of them. Have you seen what the final years look like anyway? I'm surprised anybody wants them. And this is all if you don't believe in Heaven.

It's The Thought That Counts

AITOOW wonders how many heroic deeds were the result of force rather than free will?

Kitchen Con-fidential

AITOOW wonders what the ecological impact is from these self-righteous local food movement hypocrites? How much food does your restaurant throw away? How much gas/electricity/water does your kitchen use? How much gas/electricity/water does the rest of your restaurant use (heat, lights, bathroom, laundry, etc) ? How much gas is used in delivering your food? But, you sell a mushroom that was grown in some hippies outhouse. Thanks for leading the charge. If you really cared about the environment you wouldn't do what you do to begin with. It's a wasteful enterprise at heart. But, we know about the real green you care about. This is just a way to sell to another group of delu-tards and deflect criticism.

Fake It Til You..Oh Just Fake It

AITOOW hates it when some bargain basement shit peddler tries to co-opt a trend by just adding a buzz word to their marketing materials? IE Burger King's new burger served on "artisan" bread. Yeah sure. It's baked by the millions by a small business owner. It's the same shit in a new mold. You make $1 hamburgers. You will never be top shelf. You just insult your customers by pretending to be.

Don't You Want Somebody To Love

AITOOW thinks it's funny when women come to the conclusion that no one is going to ask them to marry them and they adopt dogs in lieu of the children they will never have? It's even funnier when they posts photos of said dog on Facebook as their friends post photos of their children. Almost as funny - photos of adopted children.

Enough About Me...What Do You Think Of Me?

AITOOW thinks the one bloviating in the conversation is the one acting like the interviewee? Not the one who is in charge.

I Want You To Want Me

AITOOW thinks evolution makes healthy relationships impossible? People like people pleasers. People pleasers are only motivated by rejection. As soon as the former accepts the latter, the latter will stop pleasing and the former will reject them. This starts the cycle over again.

On A Knee And A Prayer

AITOOW wonders if Tim Tebow is better at the end of a game partly because the opponent goes into a prevent defense? Everyone racks up big numbers then. His accuracy issues aren't as problematic with the soft coverage (more like college corners are capable of) and they encourage him to run to eat up clock. Plus he just reacts to the chaos (not reading alignments or checking out or down or actually running the play called) and his ten cent head (see Wonderlic score) isn't the negative it is during the rest of the game.

Chopping Broccoli

AITOOW wonders if chefs cut their food with a table knife the same way they cut their mis en place? Fast and with that motion. Do they hold the knife the same way too?

Fight Ire With Ire

AITOOW thinks you can't get a person who doesn't like themselves to like you by liking them. You have to pile on or they won't respect you or your judgement.

Unexpect the Expected

AITOOW wonders if you have to have too high an opinion of people (abilities/capacities) to think the worst of them?

It's Better To Receive

AITOOW thinks more people want gifts than opportunity?

Qlogging Up The Q

AITOOW wonders if you can steam pasta? In a rice cooker. I don't have one. How about cous cous, polenta, and all other grains/carbs? It would seem they do a poor job marketing this gadget if you can. Do solar panels break in a hailstorm? It would be a blow to the Green movement if they do. How do the Brits get Lef-tenant out of Lieutenant? Where is the F? Did you know they say most people only lose weight for another person beside their spouse? Why is read spelled the same but pronounced differently for both the present and past tense? Will Siri become a replacement for the imaginary friend for kids? Is the Keurig coffee machine necessary? Can't you just boil a cup of hot water and mix in the little shot of coffee they give you? What else does it do?

Joe Pa-thetic

AITOOW unequivocally rejects this pathologically self serving old man's son's contention that "we love you". I do not. I don't even like you. At best, you routinely put your own interests ahead of what was best for your school. You held onto power with a steel like intransigence when it was clear the game had past you by. At worst, you protected a child molester. And some where in between you looked the other way when action was morally warranted. I don't believe in religion, but, a man who professes to should have been motivated by fear of final judgement. It's a moral imperative. And even an atheist like myself believes in ethics. As a humanist, you had an ethical obligation to protect those children (not just squeal). You definetly had the clout to stop this. The law may be less ethically demanding than that, but, it just shows what kind of man you are. You part of that old school breed of egoists that believes that anything goes as long as it doesn't interfere with your legacy. A man willing to do the minimum he is expected to do. The "keep your nose clean" and "don't involve yourself in things that don't concern you" selfishness that describes an entire generation of people that only cares about itself. Hopefully, expectations have changed and the bare minimal awareness of your fellow creatures will fade away with your myopia. Not only do I not 'love you, I'm scared at the emotional and financial cost people like you will continue to inflict on this country as you soak it to support your retirement years. Not to mention the scores of evil deeds you walked right past or caused. Good riddance. I can't wait to read your obituary. You are a weight on the collective consciousness. It's karma that the flaws in your character created the stage for your infamy. I'm just sad that it took something like this to reveal them to the rest of the world.

Giving Oral

AITOOW wonders if there has ever been a girl in a non-all girl band who didn't contribute on vocals? I can't think of any.

Robbing Peter and Paul to Impress Paul

AITOOW finds it ironic that some people will do anything it takes in order to appear "special" in the eyes of other people even if that behavior results in harm to the very people they are looking for (and will lose) validation from?

Simon Says

AITOOW thinks women have trouble getting respect at work because they appear either to unsure (trying to cultivate buy in comes off like nagging) or too sure (comes off as confrontational)? Men just relate the directive and move on. Facts without subtext. Devoid of emotion. Nothing to misinterpret.

69 69 69

AITOOW thinks that the only thing that will survive the Herman Cain sexual harassment scandal is the realization that most people consider sexual harassment an artificial allegation created by unreasonably sensitive people? An allegation that is required to be inequitably applied based on political affiliation (see Bill Clinton).

The Car-Crashians

AITOOW thinks SNL did a great job of satirizing these gauche idiots? Kim only went to see her "husband" so that she could try and flank his play as a victim. Let's see if she still pulls the puppet strings. BTW - doesn't Humphries look like Taylor Lautner? I'm not really interested in the story. I just loved the heading.

The Real BCS Championship

AITOOW can't believe people are saying the LSU-Alabama game was boring? Every series was make or break. Team defense was exhibited for once. People stayed in their gaps. RB's tried to knock defenders out. The first facemask penalty by grabbing the back of the helmet was called in my lifetime. Nobody took a play off. One coach almost lost the game because he rotated two QB's. One (supposedly infallible) did lose the game because of at least four miscalculations (ie putting in a lame punt returner, not using time outs, questionable play calls, not realizing certain substitutions revealed what play would be called). There were blocked kicks, goal line stands, big hits, guys playing with injuries, an OT. A mouthy CB got his come uppance. Other mouthy CB's got burned. The refs let late hits, pass interference, holding calls go. A boisterous crowd of hillbillies went home dejected. The only negative was the ridiculous ending that the NCAA uses for OT. Oh, and Gary Danielson's pathetic grand standing, poor analysis, and bragging (after the play) that he was thinking X would happen.

This Week...Not So Weak

AITOOW thought that there was less nonsense on the Sunday morning talk shows? I'm A Poor Ass Host still asked loaded questions and relied on false options and straw men, but, the rest of the panel (even Puffington) were adult enough to not to resort to rhetoric. They even turned their venom on their own compatriots at times. BTW - who does her makeup? Lindsey Lohan? Her cheeks looked like they were hit with a chimney sweep's dust broom. It was also good to see Liz Chaney call out Na-Bob on the quality of the issues he chose to debate. The subsequent pile on and his unease at the criticism was overdue. Maybe this will forestall the Who Wore It Better segment they have planned for next week. Although, I assume it will be called Who Wore It Worse and it will only apply to Republican politicians.

BTW - Win Win is an entertaining little flick. The casting director or director or screenwriter (or all) did a good job creating likable characters. I do wonder if the original script ended at the dinner table, but, the studio made them wrap up the loose ends. It may have been more interesting to let the viewer decide how this would all work out.

Original Fash-sin

AITOOW thinks that burquas/head dresses might have been originally a method of keeping desert sand out of ones hair rather than a modesty conveyance?

Flip Flop You Don't Stop

AITOOW thinks Mitt Romney is the Republican John Kerry? And we know what happen to him.

Games People Play

AITOOW thinks people are ambivalent about math because the solutions have no significance? They are just games. The answers do not have any value to human existence. They are just tools to sharpen ability. People feel they are acquiring knowledge with some utility when they participate in the sciences or liberal arts. That is why they are more popular.

Mean Spirits

AITOOW thinks that philanthropists/benevolents/liberals know that the agendas they advance are insupportable or false? Ultimately meaningless in the end. The difference between them and conservatives is that conservatives have the decency not to propagate the deception.

Ass-isted Suicide

AITOOW is intrigued by how low this mud walrus will sink? So envious of the attention her sisters sham marriages brought them, she has to fake a relationship to participate/steal the spotlight. It's really pathetic that this pathology is allowed to escalate when millions of people are witness to it and could step in and demand psychiatric care. I guess it is understandable that no one wants to step in and help her. She is unworthy of it. Or maybe her fans are similarly afflicted. I wonder if the cruelest blow of all is coming - an exodus of the oglers from this freak show. Funny how the divorce happened just after the re-airing of the wedding ceremony. If this was just a ratings ploy or one time money grab, I think it was a miscalculation. I see it burning alot of good will. Can't wait for the spin/damage control.

Face The Liberal Nazion

AITOOW was appalled that the shrunken, dementia evincing hatchet man Bob Sheiffer promoted his interview with Herman Cain by asking "Is he for real?". Can you imagine the backlash if he insinuated this towards his liberal bed fellow Boor-ak O Blah Blah? Does he ask this of any of the white candidates? Maybe because Cain is 100% black? Talk about condescension. (I don't endorse Cain). I also loved how he turned the artificial "smoking" distraction into his own private chastisement over the issue. Good use of company and public resources. We really care what you personally believe - on any issue. Just ask a question. A non-leading, non-editorialized question. An important question. Like why don't you act like you know everything about every issue like the president? I would have told him that not only do I not care what he thinks, I would have told him he was forbidden to vote for me. And what about the president's smoking? Talk about hypocrisy. Not only would he have not brought the topic up, he would have given him the evacuation route. And he is the smoker in question. Not a third party. Now I hate smoking more than just about anyone, but, if I was his spin meister (he apparently doesn't have one or a competent one) I would have defended it as a personal rights versus nanny state issue. And I would have added a nice poke at the fat first ladies anti-fat campaign. The one that she clumisly markets with her nerve calming prayer hands. Damn I hate non-actors reading cue cards.

Additionally, it was funny how Michelle Bachman ran circles around Arab apologist and overwhelmed politico Christi-yawn Iman-Portly on ABC. Talk about leading, loaded questioning. A defense lawyer would have objected to almost every question and been sustained. Is subtlety or artfulness even a consideration with these partisans? Does this hack in question have any qualification except being the most familiar with Arab issues from among a panel of people absolutely ignorant on those issues? She's a one trick pony. And the trick is braying.

Iran So Far Away

AITOOW thinks OBlah Blah's foreign policy strategy is best described as nagging?

Hit With The Ugly Shtick

AITOOW thinks that SNL doesn't have any female cast members pretty enough to lampoon Fox News?

Mister Sister

AITOOW wonders if really effeminate gay men don't like being called Sir?

I Brought You Into This World...

AITOOW wonders if black parents are as tough as they think they are on their kids, why are they the most unruliest mob of cretins on the planet?

Strength In Number$?

AITOOW wonders if money is power why can't rich people walk through a poor neighborhood without being terrified?

I Play One On TV

AITOOW doesn't want anyone without an MBA advising or commenting on economic issues? For starters.

No Body's Annoyed

AITOOW wonders how many canceled games it will take before the amount being argued over by the owners and players is lost by not playing? I don't understand why the owners are arguing. They are just going to raise prices to compensate for any compromises anyway. NBA - Nothing But Alternative (to Hockey). Nobody cares while football or baseball is being played.

Are You Ready For Some Hypocrisy?

AITOOW recalls that they called George Bush Hitler one or two times? No outrage. Same with the assassination movie. Remember that?

Are You Smarter Than A Spick?

AITOOW realizes there is a show on Estrella TV that is called Are You Smarter Than A Gringo? Now considering gringo is a pejorative term used by Latin Americans (derived from Green Go Home because of our soldiers camouflage) shouldn't it be derided as insensitive and racist? Shouldn't there be outrage? The same sort of outrage you had when you saw the title for this post.

Laughingstocks

AITOOW wonders why Mexicans can't laugh like normal people? It's a muted, oafish repressed chuckle. It's like a mix between an asian girls muted giggle and a donkey's bray. Always with a hand over their mouth and some incomprehensible mumbling attached. Some black people do it to. Are they scared of showing their teeth? Bad breath?

Naming Names

AITOOW may be the target of a scam perpetrated by Atsushi Hiroyuki and his wife Chika Hiroyuki? Email is from a domain called - aichiidnk.com

Roses Are Dead

AITOOW wonders if it is true that girls need so much "foreplay" or "romancing" that we are free to excoriate any girl who cheats? It seems that they can't hide behind the "it just happened" or "I wasn't thinking" excuses. If they do indeed need as much "lubing" as they say they do then every indiscretion took a long time to develop and was premeditated. The adultery is twice as reprehensible. Either that or chivalry just died.

Los Dos

AITOOW can't believe Mexico City is crushing us on sound social policy? A two year marriage contract (or your choice of duration)? Now we are thinking like sentient beings.

In-Denial-apolis

AITOOW thinks it is a transparent ruse that the Colts keep saying that Peyton Manning may return before the end of the season? They just don't want the team and fans to give up on the season. Gotta sell tickets. Even if he is healthy, the Colts will be out of the playoffs and looking forward to a high draft pick. The season is already over for them. Who do they think he is? Steven Strasburg?

You Might Be A Brown Nose

AITOOW finds it funny how liberals come off as bigoted when they criticize that new app that tells you if your child is gay? They try and make it seem like the guy who made the app is a homophobe, but, only succeed in showing that they feel that being homosexual is some kind of epitaph. I know that they will claim that they are just against stereotypes (when they concern people they are or like), but, it reads like they are against outing. I didn't hear any complaints when bigotry concerned red necks. Like the same silence (from the anti-death penalty abortionists) when they executed the KKK member in Texas. I'm not defending that guy. Exactly the opposite. But, in their world he is worth protecting too.

The Scapegoats Are Coming

AITOOW wonders how the guy that: traded Hanley Ramirez and replaced him and Nomar with a hodge podge of over priced losers, only got Curt Schilling because he hated the Yankees, lucked in a post roided Papi, signed Manny for so much that nobody would take him when he was offered up for free, couldn't land ARod or Texeira, overpaid for JD Drew, Dice K, Varitek's swan song, Beckett's recent contract, Mike Cameron , Lackey and Crawford, let Victor Martinez (cost 07 No 1 and Masterson) and Beltre go, traded away the 08 and 09 number one picks, drafted Jason Place No 1, and hired the guy who he fired still has a job but the aforementioned does not? The manager can only play the guys he is given. They were all hurt or over valued or old to begin with. Your win by pitching strategy showed how vulnerable it is to failure. It all rest on arms that can pop at any moment. Risky.

PHD - Piled Higher and Deeper

AITOOW wonders if OBamacon is urging students to pursue higher education because he doesn't want them finding out what happens when they apply for a job? Not that they can apply for unemployment insurance in any case.

Back To The Futile

AITOOW wonders, if it is true that Republicans are so dumb, why Obamboozle is loosening the No Child Left Behind standards? He's just minting more opposition. I guess he thinks the law concerned promoting every student to the next grade regardless of test scores.

Seeing Double

AITOOW thinks the following are twins: Alex Rodriguez and Rihanna, Ryan Gosling and David Arquette, Billy Bush and Jeff Corwin (Animal Planet), KD Lang and Tobey Maguire and Jody Foster and Michael J Fox.

The Opposite Of Bling

AITOOW wonders what is up with pitchers and those rope necklaces? Some have totems. Some have beads. They don't look good. They look like something a 5 year old or white Rasta wannabe would wear.

Ignore-amouses

AITOOW is sick of people who do not have the courage to respond to your entreaties and just ignore your missives?

The Intransitive Property

AITOOW hates it when sports talk show dips try and rate teams by the results of competitions between similar opponents? It has no useful application. Do you think a really good team gives as much effort against a cream puff? Or that the cream puff doesn't take the game twice as seriously? That means that, if the game were close, it is only because the better team sleep walked through the game. It doesn't mean they are close in talent. And it certainly doesn't mean that the mediocre team that took the cream puff seriously is nearly as good as the good team they are about to slaughtered by if the good team takes them seriously.

PC TV

AITOOW hates that political correctness means that one less hot chick will be on every new remake?

The Whoracle of Omaha

AITOOW who remembers when I told you that Warren "I Look Like I Ate The" Buffett only lent money to B of A because he had secret assurances from the gubment (Fed) that they would do something about toxic mortgages (Countrywide)? Well yesterday we had Ben Serve Bankies saying the Fed will buy toxic mortgages. Shocking! And then we hear that WB is going to host a fund raiser for BB's boss next month. I thought even the appearance of a quid pro quo was enough to imply a conflict of interest and should be avoided?

Glow Ball Initiative

AITOOW thinks Slick Willy's Jobs Initiative requires someone in the private sector discovering something as meaningful to the economy as the Internet? That or something involving the terms - hand or blow.

Snow Job

AITOOW notices that OBlah Blah's commercial drawn from his latest jobs speech states that "folks are living paycheck to paycheck"? Pardon me, but, if you have a paycheck don't you have a job by definition? Does his solution to unemployment require you to have a job before he can he steps in? Similar to his home mortgage solution.

Artiface Is Job 1

AITOOW would prefer that government try to get people careers instead of jobs? What good is a construction job a year from now? It will be back to same problem and we have to pay for the materials for a bridge that we can't afford. At least welfare (err unemployment checks) stops the bleeding at salaries. "Salaries" that I'm sure are paid at levels less than these jobs would pay. I can't believe I'm saying it, but, welfare may be preferable to OBrahmin's shovel ready jobs plan part deux.

Relativitly Speaking

AITOOW wonders how such a boring life can be going by so quickly?

What If The Border Was A Picket Line?

AITOOW wonders why illegal immigration is never cited as a cause of the supposed wage disparity of the last decades? Or for unemployment? It would seem to me that if we deducted 40 million from the supply side, we would have a surplus of job openings and employers who would have to pay more than they do now just to have a warm body. And don't tell me they would be jobs no American would do. They wouldn't do it for minimum wage. They would do it for some price. Some price the employer would have to pay or do it himself. And we all know employers are those who don't want to do the work themselves. That is why they employ in the first place.

Black Rice

AITOOW thinks the Glen Rice revelation just did more damage to Sarah Palin's future than a hundred Katie Couric interviews?

Now Back To Your Original Program

AITOOW would like to thank CBS for being the only network to show the proper amount of respect for 9/11 by showing that wonderful documentary tonight. I guess a pointless foozball game, cartoons and home improvement shows mean more to the other networks than the largest tragedy of this century. Too bad it wasn't a tropical storm or car chase. Then we would have had wall to wall coverage.

Stake Me, I'm Hot

AITOOW wasn't surprised that the Presi-dunce's plan to create jobs starts with the government spending money it doesn't have?

Burning Bush

AITOOW who wonders if Obambi is trying to cut troop levels in Iraq so radically that it disintegrates and he can recycle anti-Bush (Republicans = war) sentiment as political fodder for '12? Or as a distraction from the econimy. Or his shitty jump shot and golf swing.

Beep You

AITOOW wants to kill the guy who invented the beep beep beep system for vehicles that are in reverse? And can't we get a silencer for leafblowers?

Evolushun

AITOOW thinks it's curious that people's prejudices seems to disappear as their beauty disappears?

Inside Job

AITOOW thinks Warren Buffet wouldn't have bought BAC without knowledge that the Fed would be buying more toxic assets in the future?

Miami Vice

AITOOW is glad that the U hired Randy Shannon to clean up that dirty progrm? Yet they still sucked.

Dan The Gorilla

AITOOW thinks Snookie will look like Roseanne Barr in a few years?

Sympathy (is) For The Devil

AITOOW thinks sympathy is your way of telling God he made a mistake? With his grand plan and all.

Lamey's Got A Gunn

AITOOW wants that fruity, faux blue blood monotone rag designer to stop misrepresenting what discounts Expedia can offer you? Expedia can not and does not discount airline prices. The only possible discount you get from combining airfare and room rates into one package is from discounts they offer on hotel rooms that they reserve in bulk. You can often get that discount if you book the hotel room by itself. Stop implying that they get special rates from airlines. They don't do that. You have no special relationship with them. And how annoying is it that they chose to use someone with a fictitious name like Anandra?

I'm Gonna Live Forever

AITOOW thinks that there would be few great deeds if poetry (or some form of adulation) did not exist to preserve and promote them?

Grading On A Swerve

AITOOW is glad we signed that deficit agreement so our credit rating wouldn't get downgraded? Revenge is best served cold. Who's the demagogue now, Obambi? I love that we still get to see the effects of not raising the debt ceiling so we can if prudence was the better part of valor.

Pricing In Compromise

AITOOW who is glad that they passed that deficit reduction bill so that the stock market wouldn't tank?

Use Your Inside Voice

AITOOW wonders if it is evidence that man is inherently evil that he consults other peoples opinions to his own conscience?

Gen XS

AITOOW wonders why people who haven't established a nest egg are forced to subsidise the pointless prolonging of life for people who have one? If you want to waste money waste your own.

Alarming Situation

AITOOW knows that you can turn off a home alarm by disconnecting the battery at its fuse box? Does anything work as promised?

Wimpy Deal

AITOOW is not surprised that milquetoast, panty waste Mitch McConnell comes up with a deficit reduction plan that is straight out of a Popeye cartoon? "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today". Let's see, he wants 2 Trillion to waste today (or slightly after) for 2 Trillion in cuts ten years from now (some before then). What a game changer! Most of that is anticipated military savings after the draw downs in Iraq and Afghanistan. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Cut programs (or at least tell us which ones are part of the 2 Trillion). Cut them hard. Cut them fast. Cut them by 14 Trillion. The damn pointless Department of Education costs 80 Billion a year alone. That's a third of your big achievement. BTW you look like an uglier Steve Forbes. Nice quintuple chin/turkey neck. Just join the other side of the aisle already.

Pee Party

AITOOW who loves these economic crisis to reveal who around us has a spine and who does not? I love the panic stricken looks from all the Fox talking heads as the try and cajole the serious minded reformers to just kick the can down the road again (preferably until after they live out their lives or turn their equity into cash). I also love that our GDP just happened to be exaggerated by the "gubment" for the last two quarters. I'm sure it was an honest mistake.

Patriotism Has Its Price

AITOOW thinks it's pathetic that the guy who sold the AWOL soldier all the ordinance he wanted seems to want a pat on the back for reporting him AFTER he took his money for the goods? What a selfless act. It's not like he was protecting himself from liability or bad publicity or anything like that. Love those tough ATF rules. Thank god the buyer paid in cash or we might have had to wait until the check cleared.

Risky Business

AITOOW doesn't understand why an individuals credit risk has to have any correlation with the government's? They are totally independent. Just because the creditworthiness of the country one lives in decreases does not mean that any other borrowers credit risk in that country increases. It is a historical rule that never made any sense and makes less sense now.

The Price Of Perfection

AITOOW thinks there are no surprises left in life because everything is analyzed and exploited to its fullest extent?

Payback

AITOOW thinks businesses in America will continue to lay people off and refrain from hiring as a means of swinging the election to the Republicans?

Frankenstein's Monster

AITOOW loves the market's reaction to the first domino (the threat of a downgrade) in the debt ceiling crisis - yawn (not you Geitner and OBrahmin probably)? Told you! The market is (now more than ever) moved by manipulation by speculators playing with leveraged fractions of their own or rich peoples disposable income. They have (in concert with the Fed) created another artificial bubble in the equities market to help themselves (speculators) offset liabilities and provide the public with the illusion of economic improvement. We all know they didn't create jobs or lend. (As a unit) they are not going to upset this paradigm. It is too profitable and too easy. They will absorb/ignore all negative news. Any tailspin will only be caused by a few contrarians with enough force to cause enough leveraged positions to be unwound like last time. I'm not saying that the longs won't be squeezed. I'm not saying that we won't see a day or a week of panic. I'm not even saying that someone will not press the right pressure points and we see a repeat of 2007. I'm just saying that the a debt default in itself will not be the "real" cause. It will be the cover story for high stakes manipulation that is increasingly inevitable because of the behavior of our "longs" (increased risk and leverage with no cover). The administration's use of this "cover story" narrative only makes it more potent. So the message from the central government shouldn't be "default will ruin the economy". It should be "default (or any bad news) may be used by manipulators to cause an unwarranted collapse in stock prices". Put the blame on the speculators. Limit the potential impact to the market. Unless you really want the market to collapse so you can say I told you so. In either case I advise the other political party to run with that message if your opponents don't.

Happy Endings

AITOOW finds it convenient that owners in two major sports opted to renegotiate new long term collective bargaining agreements during a period of economic malaise? No need to massage these numbers. I hope the players realize this and don't sign up through the recovery.

Captain My Captain

AITOOW wonders how Derek Jeter can be exhausted after a month on the DL? Maybe it was from laughing at the rube that gave him a ball worth half a mill (Yanks provided the inequitable recompense that was accepted) for nothing after he had protested during contract negotiations that 18 million a season (despite average production) was not enough remuneration to warrant a discount (or even FMV) for his new deal. What a dick. Or maybe he just realized he didn't deserve to be there in the first place.

Approbation Is The New Snobbery

AITOOW finds it funny that a number of these purportedly cantankerous/elitist Travel/Food Channel hosts seem reluctant to find anything bad to say about any of the places or things they encounter?

What's My Name Again

AITOOW thinks that Brazilian soccer players only go by one name because they don't know who their Daddy is?

See Right Through You

AITOOW wouldn't be surprised if the "intel" about terrorists implanting bombs inside their bodies was just a ruse used by politicians and their body scanning puppet masters to provide cover for a new purchase order?

Fan Overboard

AITOOW believes it is miraculous that more fans don't fall to their deaths at ballgames? Between the elevation of some seats, the size of the barriers, alcohol and enticements to reach over, I can't believe it happens so rarely. I didn't even mention vertigo.

No I In Baez

AITOOW who remembers that Jose Baez needed to bring in a team of attorneys to hold his hand through the trial and refused at every stage to recuse himself from the case? Remember that when he claims he didn't contemplate the effect this would have on his notoriety or when he is being lauded for his efficacy as an attorney. This case was won by motions to exclude evidence (or the lack of), jury selection, and the creation of fanciful alternate scenarios. I doubt he was responsible for any of those.

Government For the Multi National By The Multi National

AITOOW realizes that it shouldn't be about "shared sacrifice"? It should be about what makes the economy stronger. Not that I'm surprised that the people whose economic policies have resulted in: lower home values, lower purchasing power/asset values, higher commodity prices, stagnant employment, and low bond yields would understand that. The one area of positivity (equities) for the average American is really a wash. The increase in prices is offset by the loss of value in the dollar.

I'm Having The Vapors

AITOOW wonders when arthritis became gout again? Is there a resurgence in Industrial Revolution area vocabulary that I wasn't made aware of?

Giving The Sport A Black Eye

AITOOW wonders what's the deal with female softball players and eye black? It's stupid enough when 250 pound football players do it.

Pee Pee Or Plastic

AITOOW wonders on behalf of those of you who enjoy fake tits, how far apart on the continuum of acceptance a fake vagina is to fake tits?

Initiate Programming

AITOOW finds it exhaustingly frustrating that late night "news" programs can not refrain from labeling Republican candidates with pejorative adjectives? Of course Michelle Bachmann's political views had to be tagged with the "hard line" modifier by a smirking Nightline hatchet man. Of course they couldn't help "editorializing" a news piece. Of course they couldn't remain objective. Of course they couldn't retain credability. Of course they couldn't have just left it at "political views". I'm not familiar with (most of) her political views, but, how about you let me decide if they are hard line (whatever that means) and you just stick to slanting the evidence through prejudicial editing and leading questions. I guess that's is why they call it a News "Program".

Gaol!

AITOOW thinks that if the INS were at all interested in doing anything resembling their job that they would have every agent available at the Rose Bowl tonight?

Catch Phrase If You Can

AITOOW wants to thank the Golden State Warriors for saving us from having to hear "Grown Man Move" and "Momma There Goes That Man" among other inane non sequitors? For a little while anyway.

One If By Land

AITOOW doesn't understand why celebrity news/reality shows/etc (or anyone) hire reporters/hosts with thick British or Australian accents? It's not like those accents are desirable (to an American audience). And I doubt there is a lack of Americans who will spread their legs on the casting couch. So that can't be the reason. I don't see how can producers can demand that regional American accents (urban/southern/Minnesotan/New England/etc) must be stripped away while these equally bad accents proliferate. It's a disturbing double standard.

Whoomp Hair It Is

AITOOW thought it was funny that the Asian player who was playing Venus Williams today may have been playing her own hair?

Weenie In A Bottle (Blanket)

AITOOW thinks Christina Aguilera looks like an albino Snookie? Fatter of course. What would that mess look like without the breast implants or white hair?

Whordinary People

AITOOW thinks The Bachelorette should be called Sloppy Seconds?

It's That Thing

AITOOW thinks Jim Parsons looks like he could brothers with the Stefan character on SNL? Who would be gayer?

You've Got The Cutest Little Crater Face

AITOOW thinks Al Roker has been trying to "thug" up his delivery of " in your neck of the woods" since they started making fun of him on SNL?

Mortgage Bill

AITOOW finds it ironic that the result of Free Willy's attempt to increase minority home ownership is that fewer minorities are currently home owners as a result? And that whole depression thing caused by the artificiality of the housing bubble. I think he caused the end of that 90's cigar craze too.

Terms Of Endearment

AITOOW wonders how you are supposed to introduce your step mom when your dad divorces her?

Unjust Rewards

AITOOW thinks imitation is inadequate compensation for excellence?

The Demeaning Of Life

AITOOW thinks that distraction is all that is left once you realize there is no meaning (to life)?

Do I Look Fat In This

AITOOW thinks if girls spent as much time on the treadmill as they do shopping that they would accomplish what their shopping does not - looking good? Not to mention the money that would be saved.

I God It

AITOOW thinks people who credit God with their success are huge egotists? Yes, God selected you out of all others for his bounty. I also love how these idiots thank God for any aid they receive after one of the disasters he would have to have caused if he were omnipotent. The same idiots that claim God is omnipotent yet believe in free will and the Devil. I also like when they credit God plus something else (ie their training) for their success. If God is omnipotent then he can be the only source of your success. I also think "faith" may be the most intellectually bankrupt word in the English language.

The Password Is Sabotage

AITOOW is aware how the "retyping the word seen on the screen" process works? Most of us know by now that those words are from old books they are trying to digitize. What most of us probably didn't know was that they put one "fake" word in with the word they want "translated". The purpose of this is to check if you can "translate" properly. They assume if you get the "fake" word right that you will also get the "real' word right (the computer doesn't know what the word is hence the need to co opt you). I suggest we all mess with them. Type in the "fake" word correctly (usually the one that makes sense) and then type in something horrific for the "real" word. This will be hilarious and it will teach them not to presume that they can annoy us and get something for nothing,

You Can't Handle The Truth

AITOOW is neither surprised at the results nor the reaction to the article in Psychology Today that revealed that most people find black women the least attractive? What does surprise me is that any black person reads Psychology Today (even though we know that's not how they found out about it). I wonder if they will do a study on least attractive personalities? Or sensitivity to criticism? Or tact? Or do we already instinctively know the answer to those questions too?

Are You On The List?

AITOOW thinks it's funny that the job they gave the only black guy in Thor (although there shouldn't even have been a black guy in Thor) was "door man"? Also, funny that the only mutant that got killed (except the villain) in X-Men was the black guy.

Cream Of The Crap

AITOOW is aware that baseball teams get a supplemental first round draft pick for every free agent they don't resign at the end of the year? So smart GM's have started to load up on scrubs (that they have no intention of resigning) at the end of every season. Doesn't this work against the leagues purported aim of trying to create parity (giving the worst teams the next generation of best players)? The teams with the most money or who are in the playoff chase, are usually the ones trading for these players at the trade deadline. Is this all about trying to goad the mid-level teams to compete against the Sox and Yankees?

If They Ever Ask You Why

AITOOW wonders what kind of lesson you are teaching "the children" when you use "it's for the children" as your rhetorical disguise for every one of your self serving crusades?

20/30 Vision

AITOOW can't believe that in the past 30 years (after AIDS was discovered), 65 million people still couldn't keep themselves from putting their ding dong where it didn't belong (without a raincoat even)? I'm not sure it's a "gay plague". Sounds more like a "stupid" plague.

Speak Up

AITOOW isn't sure if John McEnroe would like today's players to come to the net more? I always thought he loved the net so much because it looked like a big line of coke.

I Know I Look Good

AITOOW thinks you should consider yourself fat if your skin touches your clothes? There should be some air in there.

Castles Of Sand

AITOOW wonders, if equilibrium/stasis is the object of Nature, how corrupted our minds must be if we believe that it seems alot easier for things to devolve into chaos instead of order.? Or in other words, how much harder it seems to make and hold something rather than watch it be broken or taken away.

It must be caused by the survival gene. We are captive to our immediate needs in a competitive ecosystem. We experience alot of frustration and don't dwell on the success we experience. That makes it appear that the whole system is unbalanced rather than our little piece.

Then again chaos might be the natural order. It doesn't explain the expansion of the Universe thing. It may explain it if you break "order" into units. At some times/places it is chaos. At other times/places it is order. And at others it's is shades of both. And the sum total may be equilibrium/stasis. Maybe our minds aren't corrupted. Maybe Earth is in the Chaos Zone.

The Price of Failure

AITOOW is going to remember at the quarter's close that auto companies and dealers tried to raise prices after the Japanese earthquake portended shortages of inventory and it back fired? Nobody accepted the price gauging. I'm sure executives will mention this as the cause of their poor performance when they explain the numbers..

Casting Couch

AITOOW thinks that performers who don't want their children to follow them into the family business don't want them to know what degrading acts they had to commit to get their opportunities?

How To Succeed in Business Without...

AITOOW is aware that corporations are avoiding state income taxes by placing their properties in tax-exempt real estate investment trusts (REITs) and then renting the locations back to themselves? The REIT's they place their properties into pay no taxes on their "profits" (tax exempt). When the corporations lease the locations back to themselves, they take a deduction for the cost of the lease (in the amount the REIT income) that lowers it's EBITA which lowers the tax due. Most don't disclose the existence of the trusts in their annual reports. REIT's were initially created to help small investors put money in a diverse portfolio of property (ie a mutual fund). In this case, a REIT is not being used as real estate management tool, but, a tax avoidance tool. Some corporations are estimated to be avoiding multiple tens of millions of dollars in taxes this way.

Use In Case Of Slight Discomfort

AITOOW doesn't understand why we allow service entities to keep significant reserves? They should refund any overage caused by miscalculation or fiscal serendipity. Keeping it only encourages them to spend more than is necessary or sustainable. From my state to my school board to my home owner's association, they all have ridiculous amounts of money in their rainy day funds. So much so that they can frustrate cost the cutting ambitions in current policy agendas. It's not about having "flexibility" at a certain point. It's about having leverage over you. Not to mention the free dinners that they get from the banks that sit on the cash.

Karate Kids

AITOOW sees the Japanese influence in the physical appearance of the American Indian? It would make sense since they are supposed to have have migrated from Asia across the Bering Sea when it was frozen over. The Indians are just Red Japanese. Check out the nose, hair, eyes, ass, etc. On a different note. How can you be Native if you migrated from Asia?

Another Brick In The Wall

AITOOW feels society is in a downward trajectory and it can all be traced back to the fact that nobody accepts constructive (or any) criticism any more? It isn't allowed. If people can't be made to see that they are in error then they can never learn. They don't improve. Society stagnates or rolls back. I point the finger (where else) at the drug addled hippies (who are responsible for almost every dumb idea currently manifesting itself in our society) and their esteem movement that metamorphosed in the 90's (when they took their turn running things). It began as a way to keep minorities from quitting. Tell them whatever they did was good. Pump up their ego. Make them think that life wasn't so daunting and maybe they would make an effort so we wouldn't have to carry them any longer. Unfortunately, it spread to all parts of society. It created the situation we have now. A society full of brick walls that are just about as smart.

A-Me-Rica

AITOOW thinks that the country's attitude of entitlement can be traced to the suffragist movement? Equal rights led to equal time which led to the proliferation of feminine ideas. Some of which are : They expect everything to be paid for by another. They expect not to have to work. They expect to be romanced. They expect to be treated like a spoiled cat their entire lives. No wonder they have infected our culture with a contagion of presumptuousness. Time to tune in and tune out their self serving inanity. And I'm sure the blacks looking for a supplemental Master hasn't helped either.

Hot Hot Hot

AITOOW has heard that Ebay is the world's largest fence?

I Before U

AITOOW is tired of the sanctimony of people who only look through the prism of their self serving beliefs? We get it. You have Disease A. You support Country A. You support your ethnicity. You have peculiar dietary proclivities. You love animals more than humans. You want to put things inside your vagina and/or anus. You are an outsider. You live La Vie Boeheme. You couldn't throw a ball so you invented a thing called Arts and proclaimed it to be omni important. And we all MUST support those causes or ideas or we are intellectually, astetically, morally or ethically inferior. Is there any behavior/philosophy more ego-centric? Is there any advocate worse for a cause? It's not pious if you are the beneficiary.

The Real Kahn Job

AITOOW who was confused why that suite at the Sofitel cost $3k a night? It was ordinary and tiny. It should include a blowjob at that price.

This Has Been Fun

AITOOW knows why he didn't call you back after sex? Besides you being bad at it or weird about it. Let's see. You stepped out of your heels. You stepped out of your form flattering/hiding dress. You took off your padded bra. You took off your spanks. You took off your padded ass prosthetic. In the course of the act: Your makeup rubbed off. Your eyelashes fell off. Your contacts fell out. Your extensions/wig came off. Your caps fell out. Your fake nails fell off. He learned about your tattoos, piercings, herpes blisters, regular blisters, corns, snaggle toes, C-section scars, lipo scars, tummy tuck scars, regular scars, stretch marks, ingrown hairs, and cellulite. That doesn't even factor in the probability he already knew about your nose job, eye lift, fake tits, botox, collagen injections, hair dye, electrolysis and generally slutty reputation. Any questions?

Rain Forest Fever

AITOOW is not even slightly surprised that the Terminator banged his Latin housekeeper? Everyone of his co-stars is a Latina. I wonder who got them the job? It's like Eastwood and ugly blonds. They have some sort of fixation.

Street Cred

AITOOW thinks it may be advantageous for a new company to name itself after the street they reside on? This would make it appear that the whole neighborhood exists because of them or they developed the neighborhood or they have naming rights. An easy co-opt of good will.

Dancing On The Ceiling

AITOOW told you that the world wouldn't collapse when we hit the debt ceiling? We just gave our non-essential government "workers" an IOU on their pensions. We can do this sort of fiscal shell game for a long time.

Ho Tags

AITOOW loves seeing thumb sized bruise marks on the triceps and inner tighs or ankles of women? Hmm. I wonder what you were doing last night. Of course you're just so clumsy.

Dirty Birdie

AITOOW doesn't understand why golfer's wipe their putters before a shot with their greasy, sweaty thumbs? They flick away every leaf. They clean their balls. They obsess about every details and then they slick their putter two seconds before they putt.

Sym-art-try

AITOOW thinks new art is avoided by collectors when it first comes out because it clashes with their current collection/furniture?

Moops

AITOOW thinks Picasso's depiction of women (cubism) isn't as revolutionary as it has been made out to be? Spanish women are a mix of many nationalities. The gene mixing makes for some odd results. I submit that Picasso's paintings are more realistic than abstract. You just have spend some time observing the Spanish influenced gene pool in action.

Fight The Bulge

AITOOW notices the poor job of Juvaderming they have done on Oprah's right eye?

New Math

AITOOW is clear on the new rules of engagement? Embarrassing photos and dunking someones head into a pail of water = torture = investigation by (place)Holder = prison term. Kill shot and shot to the leg = not torture = more humane.

It's Who You Know

AITOOW is aware that you can buy licenses from licensing boards in certain parts of the country if you know the right people? I mean like electricians licenses!

I Am The Greatest

AITOOW thinks it's funny how much credit Oblahblah wants for not screwing up a Bin Laden raid ala Clinton? He merely did what any modestly competent CIC should have done. Said yes. And speaking of modesty. Does he have any? I love that he dithered (explored every angle) and still didn't provide for the exploration of intel in the compound after the abduction/assassination. I guess that wasn't one of the pieces of minutia that his advisers/committee brought up in their discussions. The ones that he himself said he had already unearthed in his own mind. And is 55% chance of success his tipping point? Question. Why does such a sage need to consult a committee on every issue? It's incongruous. If you are such a genius, shoot from the hip and 86 your bureaucrats. Why do I think they would have taken the hit if this mission went awry? I guess that answers why he has his fall guys/committees.

Re-Purposing

AITOOW realizes Robert E Lee's plantation is now Arlington national cemetery?

My Brother's Keepers

AITOOW is aware that many in NYPD Blue used their overtime from 9/11 to retire early at the average of their pay from the years working overtime at the time. Many did little more than crowd control. They knew they would never get a chance like this again. Pure opportunism. The flip side of heroism.

Free Marketing

AITOOW found it funny that the marketing executives for Trump got their panties in a bunch over the men's teams' failure to include an email address in their lit this week? They also brought out that old tired horse of a call to action. Hmm. Let's see. How could anyone ever find out more info on the company? Oh yeah. A little thing called a search engine? And could the website possibly be trump.com? You had to call out those sorts of things 15 years ago when websites weren't ubiquitous and then only if your site wasn't your name.com. And a call to action? Is anything more off putting? Today's consumer doesn't want the hard sell. Time to audit a current business school marketing class, experts! I did like how they panned the women's ad as a strip club dash card. It was. And I'm sure Trump liked having three hood rats as the face of his hotels. The first question I would have asked is - since Trump is a gauche arriviste, does he want to appeal to his peers or emulate old money like most new monied people do? Somebody also needs to remind the men's team that business people are the people in your highschool that copied the "accepted" standards. They don't ever go outside the box. They say the want to, but, they don't. They are conformists. They are not artists. Play it safe at all times.

And how much product placement was in Gossip Girl last night? Was it a homage to that new Morgan Spurlock movie? Why weren't there Gilt patches on the actors' clothing and Gilt ads on the cars? It was everyplace else.

The New OTBs

AITOOW is aware that internet cafes serve as de facto casinos for online gambling? Especially in poor neighborhoods. I wondered why I was seeing more of them every day.

Fish Tales

AITOOW read that viral infections may be the reason that salmon have been dying in the Pacific Northwest? Not global warming. Not dams. Although, I'm sure the Birkenstocks will find an indirect nexus to their Trojan Horses. Lox of luck.

Consider The Source

AITOOW thinks that Republicans should probably ignore the "advice" of liberal pundits on issues like Medicare and debt? Why would they want to help you?

Truth Be Damned

AITOOW wishes OBlahBlah would shut his face for one day so that they can opine on a multitude of more interesting subjects? How exactly are the poor sacrificing? By taking - social security, medicare, medicaid, unemployment, free education, free services, free roads, free protection et al? And they don't pay a nickel in taxes. I think you have it backwards as usual. The "rich" are the only ones who are sacrificing. The poor are the ones enriching themselves off of their fellow citizens.

Default Line

AITOOW doesn't understand why we have to default on the interest due payments to bond holders if we don't raise the debt ceiling? Why not pay those bills first and then default on non-creditors like government workers or social programs. Isn't that what California did? And where else are investors going to be able to find these levels of debt to invest in other than the US? So France and England become more credit worthy. They can't satisfy the demand. Therefore, you don't even have to raise the risk premium. Just two more reasons NOT to raise the debt ceiling.

Hen House

AITOOW wonders how there is not a conflict of interest between the credit rating agencies and the federal government that watches over them? They rate US debt. They haven't been prosecuted for fraud. Our debt hasn't been down graded despite trillions in new debt and ratios that have multiplied like leveraged debt. Co-incidence?

Charity Begins In Your Home

AITOOW would like to thank the Vice Plagiarizer In Chief for reminding us that compassionate liberals are only generous with other peoples money. 5k to charity after $300 last year? How may cheap jew references do think he's uttered in his life? Talk about cheap. The sad thing is you know he had to be goaded by Presidential advisers to pony up that much. On a similar topic. How transparent is OBrahmin's donation to a charity for military families. This and his recent marketing campaign to use military families as his vehicle for expanding his socialist agenda, championing his patriotism and clouding his pacifism is nauseating. Talk about tri-angulation. It's like the big oil companies' commercials touting their green energy initiatives.

Dish Of Salt

AITOOW would like thank Subway for reducing their salt usage? This way I don't have to stop eating their sandwiches 3 days before I go out in public. The bloated face look isn't in. I knew there was something wrong with their food. Who's next?

Bitch Please

AITOOW wonders if black people are so rude when they speak because people usually ignore/discount them and what they have to say? Therefore, they believe they must first create a scene to be acknowledged. Additionally, they have built up animosity to being belittled in the past and expect the same negative reaction to their words this time around. They anticipate that negative behavior with equally poor initial behavior. It's especially prevalent in disputes because it isn't just about being heard (treated as an equal), it is about being prejudged for ones (lack of) intellectual capabilities (treated as an authority). Or maybe they are just childish assholes who haven't yet learned how to control their emotions?

Black To The Future

AITOOW felt a little rush of nostalgia when Barry Bonds was acquitted by the lone vote of a black woman this week? It's nice to know that America can still count on the prejudice or corruptibility of the black mother archetype to spring whatever black criminal the rest of a jury pool feels is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Free OJ!

Elect Paul Ryan

AITOOW doesn't understand why Paul Ryan isn't the GOP's top choice for President? He's young, charismatic, bright, articulate, measured and fiscally responsible. He was even on the Spender in Chief's Deficit Commission. Plus he's from an area of the country that is up for grabs.

The Real Unemployment Number

AITOOW would like to thank the Bureau of Labor Statistics for giving us (what I've contended all along) the real number of working Americans? Although I'm sure it's typically just an inexact estimate (don't we get tax info that can be aggregated?) and doesn't include self-employed workers that have little to no income coming in on one side or off the books workers on the other, they still say that only 45.4% of Americans have jobs! That's 54.6% of people unemployed not 9%! Can we start using this as the metric now! I want the drumbeat to be "Over Half of America Out of Work" from now on.

Figs To Dates

AITOOW doesn't understand how the media and Dems perceive the Libyan rebels as utterly unable to defeat the Libyan army by themselves while they could see no way the similarly equipped Iraqi rebels could be defeated by the US military?

Boston Rube

AITOOW remembers self-proscribed Svengali Boston Rob writhing in teary eyed misery on Survivor? What a little bitch. A far cry from the "mastermind" he is now masquerading as. Doesn't he remind you of a slightly skinnier Jimmy Kimmel? He really is a perfect depiction of a Boston douche bag.

Anarchy In The USA

AITOOW finds it unbelievable that the Make It Rain Party can only be forced at gun point to relinquish their grimy paws of 1% of the budget? Isn't interest on the debt over 10%? What's even more unbelievable is that they will pay no penalty for their irrational behavior. If they were a person they would be diagnosed with a disorder. Their sanity would be in question. They would be kicked out of their homes. Does anyone remember that they green lighted 6 billion for reparations to Indians and black farmers? Do people remember that they gave 200+ billion to doctors as an aside to the health care bill? Do they remember that the health care legislation cost is spread over 10 years though the actual outlays only accumulate over 5 years? Did they not notice that half their buddies were kicked out over this issue 6 months ago? Are they anarchists? People blame Clinton's second term on the government shut down. We were in a boom. People were profligate. The national debt was in single digits. There was no China. Feeble, Bob Dole was the option. Perot 2 stole votes. Republican's didn't turn out because your grandfather's candidate (Dole) was the option and he looked like he was senile. Many Republican congressmen were dirty. Yoy had no Fox News, etc. Please remember those variables next time you try and learn from history, Boner. The only thing worse than not learning from history is drawing parallels from dissimiliar scenarios.

Chewing The Fat

AITOOW wonders if being fat is genetic why there are never any fat people in concentration camps?

Free Market

AITOOW finds it interesting that the EU states and the US have taken divergent paths to sorting out their fiscal problems? One of them is using austerity which props up its currency and makes it an option for fixed income and one of them is spending like a sailor on shore leave which kills its currency and makes it an option for equities. It's almost like they got in a room and decided to game the system for the welfare of all. No competition. A perfectly split pie. Something for everyone. And nobody left out. I'm sure it's a coincidence.

The Dog Ate My Spirit

AITOOW thinks the anti-social behaviors blacks evince are less about feeling unwelcome in their country and more about not having to contribute to it? It's a convenient/effective excuse for laziness to feign indifference or animosity towards the common weal.

Diary Of A Wimpy Lib

AITOOW thinks Rachel Maddow does a convincing job of playing a boy in Dairy of a Wimpy Kid?

Bat and Twitch

AITOOW wonders what drug Jose Canseco is on that causes him to twitch so much? I think it's Ritalin. How dumb is that Hope girl?

I Pick My Scabs

AITOOW doesn't care which players the NFL uses as long as my players are better than the competitions? It's not like football allows great individual expressions of athleticism. I don't dislike college football any less because the talent is inferior. Football isn't like baseball or basketball where individual superiority dictates the quality of the show. This is a game of strategy. Plus the helmets and the pads make the players anonymous. I think the player's union in this sport faces a much tougher struggle than in other (personality driven) leagues. Put any bodies in uniform and I'll watch. I root for the unis not the players.

Sex Apple

AITOOW doesn't understand why electric/hydrogen/etc car makers don't partner with Apple to brand a car? Their drones buy anything tech that Apple puts out. Like Asian women and Louis Vuitton.

Sendaing Out A Letter

AITOOW likes dilemmas? Anti-carbon sentiments versus nuclear fallout fears. Take your pick. And don't cop out with solar or wind or geo-thermal. You know they can't provide enough power soon enough.

Put Your Hands Up In The Air

AITOOW doesn't see why the Libyan rebels are having so much trouble with Quaddafi? All the images I see of them make them seem quite adept at shooting off rounds in the air and dancing in circles - the cornerstones of military where with all. Now if the French can only show them how to tie a white flag to their weapons.

Black Hawk Now

AITOOW is reminded of all the hand wringing and criticism that accompanied Bush I's intervention in Somalia? I wonder if we will have any (at least publicized) because of Libya? That's rhetorical. Of course there won't be. Except from some opportunistic and disingenuous anti-OBambites. I just have a couple of questions. How come WE always have to do it? How come WE never get anything out of it? Why do people who have nothing in common with us (who dispise us) always expect us to come to their aid. How has the sense of entitlement spread to the far reaches of the Earth. Why are democrats only willing to help non-white people or non-Christians? Why do Democrats think hurling some warheads and dropping some bombs from the sky equates to a recipe for victory? How funny is it that OBlahBlah has had to do almost everything he criticized his predecessor about? Is it time to label him a hawk? Why Libya and not Rwanada? It can't be about the oil. He is a Democrat. They would never fight over something that meaningful. It's not wasteful/pointless enough. Who does Quaddafi resemble? I'm stuck on Bert Convey or that guy from the Woody Allen movie (maybe the same guy). I know there is another. Does this action make people remember the pre-Iraq bullshit. Like how the UN dragged its feet. Like how France cock blocked us. Like how Saudi Arabia was scared Saddam would attack them. And where is Turkey in all this? I thought they were the new leaders of the Middle East. Finally. How do all these bombings start during Spring Break? Is it sweeps already?

History Major

AITOOW thinks OBrahmin prefers to co-opt (re-imagine/rewrite) history rather than make it? The ultimate Monday Morning Quarterback. Why exert yourself when you can just spin the results later. Wait for the winds of change to blow and put your arm around the accepted victor. Then hope no one calls you on where you were before the outcome (it actually sounds very Arab). Plus then you can use your unused energy to drone on upon it to let us know how much you know about the subject. Can we label him - The Describer?

Pot Calling The Kettle Half Black

AITOOW finds it funny that Jalen Rose thinks Grant Hill is an Uncle Tom? First off, I doubt he has even read the book. And if he has it was only because it was assigned not because he likes to read. Secondly, by the looks of his soft, yellow skin, it doesn't seem that his ancestors were unless of Uncle Tom's in their ability to keep their women from laying with Massa. That is if their women didn't voluntarily open their honey pots. Thirdly, based on the relative outcomes of being a "Tom" versus not being a "Tom", his "criticism" is as foolish as it is ineffective. Fourthly, what is Rose's pedigree. How is he not a "Tom". He worked for free for the white man in college. He cow towed to all the rules. He sold out. Fifthly, how is he "street"? Was he in a gang? He's just another imbecile with a big mouth and a delusional image of himself as a false gangster who thinks growing up poor, listening to hip hop and wearing certain clothes make him legit. He's no different than your average white trash, wanna be gangster. Lastly, I want to applaud Hill for his intelligent response that basically calls Rose's parents welfare Tom's among other innuendos that I doubt Rose can untangle. Now it's time for the rest of the Rose clones to find a new way of expressing their frustrations at being inferior to the rest of their race and all others. This cliche is so played out.

One Track Mind

AITOOW sees images of twisted up train tracks in Japan and wonders if transitioning us to them is a bright idea? Especially in quake zones like California. And why is the federal government intent on wasting tax dollars that states have rejected for such projects? Apply that money to the debt.

Winning

AITOOW doesn't understand why self incriminating drug addicts, trespassers/picketers and officials that don't enforce the laws they swore to uphold (ie Holder, most of Wisconsin) are permitted to ignore the law?

21st Century RV Park

AITOOW doesn't understand why they don't leave a few space shuttles attached to the ISS? It would be extra room and an emergency escape vehicle. They would just all have to pile into the remaining shuttle and return to Earth.

We're Number 1

AITOOW is sick of people deriving their sense of worth through their ethnicity, race or other perceived group identity? Just because someone with similar characteristics as you did something notable does not mean that you are equally important or superior. You are still the same worthless piece of shit that you think everyone else is. When you and you alone contribute something to society then you can look down your nose at them. Until then, you should not try and co-opt another's accomplishments as having any relationship to yourself. Especially if it is just skin color or religion or nationality.

That's What She Said

AITOOW notices that Scranton and neighboring Pennsylvania scenery seems to look exactly like Los Angeles?

Nip Tuck

AITOOW finds it funny how SI gets chicks naked and then air brushes out the nipples? And they only seem to do to some pictures. I also love how they seem to toe the line on those body paint images. They get them "naked" and then strategically center the nipple area in the bill fold. I wonder if they have some obscenity committee that tells them what they can and can not get away with before it becomes porn.

Their Lips Are Sealed

AITOOW doesn't buy the official version of the hijacking victims' death off of Somalia? I love the SEALs, but, give me a break. The pirates killed their bargaining chips? It wasn't like the pirates had to get rid of excess baggage. It wasn't like they wanted to dispose of witnesses. I wonder if we'll ever get an autoposy. I'll bet those bodies are filled with standard issue Seal rounds.

Fire in The Hole

AITOOW finds it ironic that the act of "terrorism" that succeeded in the Arab world was the one they inflicted on themselves? Please learn from this and light yourselves on fire in the future and leave us alone.

I'm Not Lovin It

AITOOW thinks that that Mc Donald's commercial with the two queers "dancing" at a table over coffee is the gayest commercial ever? It's gay when people do it for real to post on You Tube. It's even gayer when an ad agency tries to recreate it. The song is so gay too. And I love that black couple that supposedly enjoys watching it. In the real world they would be saying "white people are weird".

Blow Your House Down

AITOOW finds it funny that AOL is now the mark when it comes to Internet fleecing? Maybe the guy that ok'd the purchase of Huffington Post was an old Time Warner exec. I love all these clowns who pay out the ass for "professional" content when the paradigm has already switched to user created content. If you have to have "professional" content, why don't you just hire a few out of work journalists to write it up? Or steal your acquistions talent? It would cost you about 300 million less.

Rewarding Job

AITOOW wonders if the youths of today have such a sense of entitlement because of youth sports? The place where everyone gets a trophy for showing up. Are they really to blame when the enter adult "sports" (work) and expect the same treatment?

Capital Idea

AITOOW thinks that budget conscious Governors and State Legislatures should just raise taxes on public sector employees to a level that reduces their life time take home pay to the level we need them to be at? Why negotiate with unions and hire bean counters to develop complex strategies to tackle the problem? Just do to them what they want to do to the oil companies, investors and hedge funds. Penalize them for making money. Call it a Capital Losses Tax. Tax their take home pay and tax their pensions at different levels than the private sector. The Demogoges I mean Crats would have to vote for it. It's a tax!

You Have My Words

AITOOW read that a female reporter was "sexually assualted" in Egypt (obviously by one of those peaceful Moslems) and still didn't understand what had happened to her? Liberals have watered down this word to where it could mean they grabbed her ass. Did they rape her or grope her? We have too many eupemisms. Maybe we should give some to Arabic which seems to be a five word vocabulary. Those words being Jihad, Infidel, Islam, Allah and Akbar.

Brand F

AITOOW thinks Robin from How I Met Your Mother and Russell Brand look alike? How bad was that episode of SNL? I hear the writers have the audacity to belittle sketches pitched by the hosts. I think you guys need to take inspiration where ever you can find it. The only good bit was the one with Stefan, as usual. It was so bad that they let Brand ramble for ten minutes in lieu of another sketch. Does Kristen Wiig have a character that doesn't roll her shoulders or have a whiny voice?

Lady and the Rant

AITOOW notices that the kids who got their books dumped in high school think that that has somehow ennobled them? Once again we have the nobility of victimization. Just because your fellow misfits have lionized a few of you does not mean that you have attained any degree of superiority of the rest of your contemporaries. That old saw about the homecoming king working in the gas station is just a fairy tale dorks tell themselves to cope. You few Arts celeberties are just the leaders of the wastrels. You're still as alone (percentage wise) as you were in high school.

I loved how full of herself and close minded Lady Gaga was on 60 minutes last night. Big Tip baby, Hosni Mabarek had a fan club too. didn't mean everyone loved him. Made him a bit delusional. This is a girl who couldn't even graduate from a second chance, private school for idiot/drug addled children of the nouveau riche. Yet, now she is an authority on every level. Let's start with your dogma that everyone is special. No, almost every one is ordinary. A few are special. That's why humans made a word for it. The word is - special.

How about her rambling, inconsistent explanation of how she is manipulating fame. She said she does it to protect her privacy, but no, it was to make sure her "art" takes precedence. First off which is it? Madonna said she put her business in the street because then people would get bored with it. You wear meat. Both may be effective. Yet bringing attention to yourself may not be the best course of action in either case. It seems alot of stars have success keeping things private by keeping a low profile. It's convuluted. I know. Your way is much more effective and in no ways seems disingenuous. It's not like you do it because you love the adulation that obviously your family or peers didn't give you. It couldn't be the money. You are an unvarnished artist. But, obviously not a rhetorician.

And then to your assertion that your attention seeking is to focus the public on your art. Do we really have to discuss this? It's 100% the opposite. Your art takes a backseat to the side show that is your life. And the best part is the fact that you couldn't be more condescending and close minded about everything. All these hurt little nerds have this in common. They chastise everyone else for the same behaviors they exhibit in excess (just in the name of their prejudices). Here's some advice. Accept that you do one thing well (copy Madonna) and that you do nothing else well. Your "performance art" is reductive and pedantic. Your dancing is terrible. Your lyricism is evocative of your "performance art". Your philosophy is incoherent, hypocritical and incomplete. You need to let big minds critique the human condition and espouse dogma. You and Alejandro need to stick to ripping off ABBA.

One more request. Please stop wearing underwear. OK we believe you don't have a penis (anymore). Stop trying to prove it (yes you are transparent on this too). I'll even ignore that big pouch of pussy fat that looks like a tucked in wiener. I just can't look at your gellatinous body any longer. It's like Courtney Love all over again. Wait is there anyone you aren't channeling? You are a one woman retro cover band. Was that Mirth's egg you came in on?

Space Cadets

AITOOW thinks it's scandalous that NASA is pimping Gifford's husband with the goal of maintaining the Shuttle program and their own hides? Why not make it like Survivor and have the astronauts from that bizarre love triangle a few years back jump the line?

Set at 350 and Wait Ten Years

AITOOW is fed up with the mass media's news divisions wanting world affairs to transpire at the accelerated pace of a season of Gossip Girl or Vampire Diaries. It's bad enough that television audiences get ten years of plot points in 30 episodes, but, can we at least accept a leisurely pace when it comes to the real world? How addicted to "the next new thing" are we as a society that our news departments have ADD. Settle down, check your sources, think before you speak and let events run their course. You have your glass of Louis XIII, now sip it. These dim wits are more irritated by Mubarak's 19th century time management than his 19th century governance. Does it come as a surprise that it takes time for a man to come to grips with being forced to leave the only life he has known (Nixon ring a bell? Hell Clinton wouldn't go) Does it come as a surprise that he may actually love his country and is trying to make himself the one thing that will unite his country after he leaves? Maybe he has some underwear in the dryer. Maybe he wanted to see Day 1 of Hollywood Week. Is there really any urgency about this? Do we need Egypt as a fourth for Gin Rummy?

I would also like to add that I love the pundits that are so worried about Eygpt's situation when it is just like our own. Oh, no. Religious fundamentalists or socialists will take over. That could never happen here. Oh, no. The military will have too much influence. That couldn't happen here. Oh no, people with a totally different political outlook than the old regime will take over. That never happens here. Oh no, the elections will be won by people who get out the vote and not be a representation of all the people. That never happens here. Oh no, they will re-write their Constitution.... It makes me laugh. All the people that think our system is so pure and so solid and everyone else's is so fragile and susceptible. Do you have any perspective? What will happen is that the country will bounces between parties because they are not capable of competing in a global economy and have no resources and therefore the economy will forever suck. The liberals or beggars/clerics will spread the wealth and then Mubarak's son will be elected in a dozen years to bring capitalism back when the wealth has been exhausted. Eygpt will then bounce back and forth between ideologies like us and every other democracy depending on who the ambivalent feel will cut them a better deal or what social issue has everyone roiled up at the time.

1980 + 10 = Eastern Europe gives in. 2001+10 = Middle East gives in. Thanks Ronny and W.