USA So Yesterday

AITOOW has read their last issue of printed news? Or at least paid to read it. USA Today doubled their price over night. This, coupled with their slow deterioration (and this is grading on a MC curve for a MC newspaper) as a new organization, was the last straw. I was only buying you for the crossword puzzles anyway and the fact that our local rag did what you are doing years ago. I'll just get my news for free on my tablet now. It wasn't really news anyway - was it? More like "olds". I've been a fool to have been supporting you this long. You never ship enough papers to your retail stores anyway. Operationally, you walk large margins of sales every day. It's a constant game of will they or won't they every day. I guess you are relying on that soon to be discredited consulting maxim - squeeze every penny out of your most dependable customers. You'll find out the hard way. You don't have as many of them as you think you do. Thanks for saving me the $300 a year. I'll use it to buy toner to print out my crossword puzzles.

War Against Terroir-ism

AITOOW thinks it's funny that King Barry will not negotiate with Republicans but will negotiate with terrorists (ie Syria and Iran).

The Ass Is Always Greener

AITOOW wonders if people in mixed couples know that their "mate" is seeking them out because they regard themselves as more like the people that mate usually dates? And they know that "mate" is more attuned to their personality quirks. And the funny thing is, the mate thinks he/she is getting something different. They are just getting the same model in a different paint job. And they will probably not run because they are used to that abhorrent behavior.

Stretching The Truth

AITOOW is amused by the "black don't crack" expression? First - that shit may not be "cracked" but it's broken. Nature just said "why bother adding insult to injury. Second - if it "don't crack' it is only because it continues to be pushed to a breaking point by the ever expanding accretion of fat beneath the skin. Although, the expression does give rise to a new urban legend on why white people are called crackers.

Looking For Some Hot Stuff

AITOOW wonders what the hell the people at Axe Body Spray are smoking? Women are getting hotter? Where? The ones who aren't fat look like Franken-creatures. There is so much bad plastic surgery, injections and ma'am-scaping that alcohol isn't enough anymore. And let's not get into the mongrel options or the ugliness inside. The one way in which they may be hotter is body temperature from all that pulp. Or maybe from the burn in their urine from the VD.

Hot Stuffed

AITOOW wonders if hot peppers are supposed to suppress appetite, why are mexicans and blacks so fat?

Mommy Queerest

AITOOW can spot an uncomfortable relationship between a mother and her male son(s)? All you have to hear is - "buddy". Any mother who calls her son "buddy" didn't want a son - or that son. I'm not sure if it's transference of hate towards the father, a reaction to an unwanted pregnancy or discomfort with the Y chromosome. It just isn't an intimate salutation.

Robin' The Eighties

AITOOW thinks the Blurred Lines video is just a copy of Addicted To Love?

I'll Gladly Play You Tuesday

AITOOW is hearing that college football AD's can't understand why attendance is flagging? How about the fact that you idiots have stopped playing games on the weekend. No one with a job can or wants to go on a week day. It's not wi fi or poor views. It's your scheduling. Not that you aren't also trying to fleece the public for something they can get for free by staying home.

They Call Him Carmelo Yellow

AITOOW can't believe the jams the rock star president gets himself into? I guess it was an apt moniker because he seems about as bright as one. I keep waiting for someone to lampoon John McEnroe and say "You can not beat Syria". Did this guy really think that anyone feared his wrath? Believed a parsing vacillator would spend any of his own political capital on charity? That's the game his mentors perfected. Like he would be drawn in by that kind of bullying. Now it's a War of the Roses chess match between he and the Republicans over every little thing. It's about who can use any issue to embarrass the other side. And the funny part is like any contentious break up, nobody on the outside particularly cares who wins. The whole affair is foul and everyone associated with it seems petty and vulgar. It was stupid for a black president to threaten an arab. They perceive the black as illegitimate. It was twice as bad not to carry through. Any thing less than immediate action in the face of an instigation is perceived as weakness. So now he is seen (probably always was) as a cowardly monkey by the arabs. A two time loser. A thoughtful, measured response will not change that perception. And that is the problem. It's not about mission creep or exit strategies or definable goals. It's about power politics. The unruly kids in the back of class look at the US (add in England) as a substitute teacher again. All the knuckle rapping George Bush administered has gone to waste. We are again Carter weak, Clinton weak in their eyes. The real trouble has just begun.