Making A Stink About It

AITOOW is worried about the unintended consquences of all these city bike share programs? Offensive body odor to start with.

To Forgive Is Definite

AITTOW thinks we have a huge disconnect when we speak of forgiveness? Even if it is sincere, I think the forgiver only forgives in part while the forgivee believes they have been exonerated completely. The forgivee needs to know that they are probably getting the bare minimum of civility that the forgiver can extend to them. They need to know that they are not in a much different position than where they started. This isn't absolution. The slate isn't clean.

Gonzo Journalism

AITOOW wonders if Jennifer Aniston thought she looked too much like Barbara Striesand before the shnoze job? Is that the real reason Brad Pitt upgraded? He didn't want that beak infecting his Arayan gene pool. I'm overlooking the absence of natural breast tissue and puffy face filler. That usually isn't a big concern for men looking for traits that will be handed down to their offspring or came later. I still don't get why people thought she was so mistreated. She seems like the bigger bitch of the two. She seems like the sort of person whose insecurity manifests itself as irritability. Jolie is off her rocker, but, at least she isn't morose or enhanced (yet). I guess most women gravitate towards the "victim" because they desire the attention she gets. Being superficially enhanced and cranky just makes her all the more relatable.

Queen Barry

AITOOW wonders if our royal highness (there's also a weed joke in there) is using NSA surveillance to save the postal service (and its union)? What better way of getting people to revert to snail mail than to monitor all other types of communication?

I also love what his latest appointments reveal about his meglomania. He's surrounding himself with "yes men" because he knows everything about everything. He just needs some wall paper to give the illusion of consensus. And diversity. This from the guy who never met a committee he didn't like.

Dar-Winner Takes It All

AITOOW thinks you can't believe in evolution and equality?

Snow Job

AITOOW believes an artisan is an euphemism for inefficient manufacturer?

Prints of Tiles

AITOOW thinks that Impressionists weren't influenced by their poor eye sight as much as by micro mosaics? The brush strokes resemble the tiles that artists before them employed for eons.

Pants On The Ground

AITOOW wonders if certain people wear their pants below their ass because they are too large to for the cut? I used to think it was funny that the ones who had the most surface area to hold them up chose to rebel against nature, but, maybe they are just adjusting to a practical necessity.

Bazinga

AITOOW who read the last two days' business articles about Zynga in USA Today and wonders if they purposefully bifurcated the puff piece about their strategic ininitiatives or if the reporter was too dim to put two and two together in the first article? Article one was about doing away with under-performing games. Article two was about hundreds of layoffs. Did they (we need a different slang term for burying the lead if they did this purposefully) stretch or hide the news of the layoffs to mete out the content or were they hoodwinked by Zynga? A side note - any puff piece about a company is the canary in a coal mine. It's proactive flacking. Bad news is imminent. Look over here not over there. Either way, it's disturbing. Either the people they hire are naive/dupes or they are in cahoots or too sympathetic with the people they cover or they are trying to stretch their material. In any event, they look inept. In related news, it's comforting to see that the trick Zynga tried to pull was as recycled as the games they deliver.

Swiss Miff

AITOOW finds it distasteful that a country that has never cared for anyone but itself is now trying to solicite the world to help it maintain its source of power and water? The Swiss believe man has warmed the planet and subseequently caused their glaciers to recede. Now they want help to make it stop. They rely on the runoff for hydroelectric power and potable water. Sorry chumps. What comes around - goes around. Now if you want us to hide some of your criminally aquired wealth - we can talk.

Plastic Explosives

AITOOW wonders if that Soda Stream commercial is misleading (or at least exaggerated)? I thought most soda bottles were made from recycled plastic. So are you really helping the planet if you use Soda Stream? Perhaps tangentally if you can only recycle so many times or if you count CO2 emissions saved by not transporting the bottles to stores.