Tail Wagging

AITOOW wonders if yesterday's 777 (jackpot!) point drop in the market was an orchestrated tantrum or real fear and cover selling? Today's rebound makes it seem like they were poised to send a message if their bailout was not delivered. If they were really spooked today would have been another down day. But, that will now be tomorrow. Have fun day trading.

Old Boys Club

AITOOW saw the undeserved fauning over Spite Lee on Orca the other day? Is there anything a black person does that another black person doesn't support? Spite said he wanted to bring attention to the incredibly brave story of these pizza (err supplies) delivery men in WW2. You know the equivalent of storming the beaches of Normandy. Driving a truck, storming a machine gun nest. It's all equal or "good" as they say. It's not at all the equivalent of letting the retarded kid play right field because you have to have 9 to play. Here's how it goes. Delivery men are not soldiers. They are delivery men. It got funnier last night. Some critic on Access Hollywood gave a bad critique to the movie and the black reporter gave the most glorious stink eye. Bitch probably hasn't even seen the movie. Just hates whitey and his requirements.

On the circle the wagons "tip" as they say (they only have about 10 cliches in their vernacular), did you hear the replays of the 04 Fannie Me and Feddie Mac hearings in which the demon-crats ganged up on the regulator? The Black Congressional Cock-ass even went so far as to call criticism of Franklin (No Hold On The) Raines a lynching. Can you update your bullshit? You seem to be able to make up new slang for everything else.

Dim Dwarf

AITOOW would like to add former Sec. Robert Reich to the list of people who don't get it? He was on Conan last night pontificating on the foibles of the American economic system. He spouted some statistics (source?) that bemoaned the fact that the richest 1% grew by x percent over the last x years while the poorest grew poorer. Could that be because the richest 1% are the richest because they created value that benefited the rest of society and themselves? No. It must all because of tax policy. There was no wealth created in that time period. Only the pre-wealthy existed then and now. Could it also be that among the poorest are illegals that pull down the wages of that whole tier? He also bemoaned the poor citizens that are losing their houses. You mean the ones that falsified loan application forms or the ones who are consciously walking away from their obligations because their houses are under water? So now they are renters again. There just back to where they were before. I would be non-plussed if I believed that he was just distorting the truth for political expediency, but, I think he really believes it. The only reason he even gets airtime is because Consey is lobster fucking Massachusetts liberal (as evidenced by his ad libbed recitation of CNN and MSNBC as the place where he hears talk about the economy).

Two to Tango

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Code Pink-o

AITOOW wonders what is it about Obama that makes him immune to hecklers? Oh, that's right. He's black and conservatives have class.

Such As The Iraq

AITOOW thinks that the Palin bump will now turn in the other direction and bump McCain from the presidency? Not only does she seem to have not formulated opinions on the majority of issues facing a head of state, she seems unable to gracefully parrot the canned answers she is being supplied with. It's like watching a middle schooler answer an oral exam or a pageant contestant during the Q & A segment. Her eyes show fear and then she searches her brain for "the" required answer (not what she thinks). She complicates the problem by mixing the structured answers with her unstructured hillbilly colloquialisms. The debates are going to be brutal.

The Two Faces of Eve

AITOOW finds it hypocritical that blacks are the least sensitive social group (amongst themselves and towards others) yet they exhibit the most sensitivity towards perceived slights against their social group?

No Balls No Bailout

AITOOW feels it is unfair that debt consumers defaulted on is not forgiven while the government "forgives" the debt holders of the burden? I really hope that the government doesn't retire this debt and actually will keep it and turn a profit on it in the future. If not they just sent a very bad and unfair message. Have we created our own de facto sovereign wealth fund?

I'm With Stupid

AITOOW is always less than impressed with the bandwidth of the so-called experts? Last night the Senates leader on economic policy resorted to politics and tried to blame the economic melt down on lack of regulation (Republicans). He even had the audacity to excuse the Democratic Senate from the 80's, 90's and last year from the blame. First off all, all the regulation in the world won't make a difference if it is not enforced (see Immigration policy). Secondly, regulation is a game of cat and mouse. It is always one step behind the next crisis. The criminals will always be smarter than legislators (that's why we have a common law system and not a system of codes). Money attracts the most cunning minds. Not public service. Thirdly, if outsized profits and securitization abuses from companies like Enron and accounting abuses from everyone didn't alert you to the hanky panky you were willfully ignorant and complacent about the problem. Try reading editorials in Newsweek, Forbes, etc. Lastly, you seem to forget that you pressured these companies into lending to minorities and other high risk individuals. The American dream should not only be for the rich (good credit), right? Remember that Elmer Fudd? Don't try and wash your hands of it. And incidentally, swaps, lack of sufficient reserve requirements, the removal of the temporary short sale restrictions and opacity in the way debt instruments are valued are areas you might want to look at now. Or maybe another censure vote against the war is of more importance. Could you also stop misrepresenting the the Fed and Treasury's moves as bail outs. They are loaning money (interest and/or repayment of principal could benefit the tax payer) or taking an equity interest at bargain prices (could benefit the tax payers). This was done with the S and L's and ended up providing some of that budget surplus you guys always cite under Clinton. I actually don't get how the shareholders (of say AIG) weren't included in the discussions. I understand these sort of material actions to require shareholder approval not just board approval. The government is taking these companies under duress at bargain prices.

Lets also shake our heads at the book cooker Hank Greenberg of AIG. He also was on Charlie Rose making one wonder if they too have the brains to run a multi-national. He never would have let this (buying sub-prime debt) happen on his watch. If you didn't know what the accountants were doing or approved of it (cheating is always an easy way to grow your stock price) as you intimated when you said "I still believe the books were properly audited", why would we believe you would have known or stopped what one of your subs were doing. Now I hope your disgrace accounts for your seemingly weak understanding of the current economic mess. You are 82 and the stress must have affected your mental acuity. But, if this was the titan of industry that made AIG, anyone could do it. I was not impressed by you. On a side note - the reason they didn't include you in the talks was one of the following: You would narc on the current board's negligence, you have no credibility, your bail out plan was not as solid as you thought or their just wasn't time to do anything but do agree with what the government had already decided was the solution. Now stop whining about the implosion of the bomb (house of cards) you created. You took shoert cuts. The new board took more. Your company was only successful because you cheated while others did not. This is karma. Now that said it does suck that a company can be evicerated if you can't get a bridge loan. But, tell that to every other company a bank has taken down because the defaulted on an interest payment or anybody that lost a house because they missed one mortgage payment.

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AITOOW is defuddled by Robot's whacky cadence? I_Am (1_2) BarackObamaandIapprovedthismessage(12345678910111213)? It's like his mind wanders and then he has to hurriedly blurt out the whole sentence before he forgets or runs out of air. It's just (lets say) distinctive.

Tendencies?

AITOOW is torn between believing that promise rings are a beard or a lie? Just as the cloisters or the nunneries used to conceal homosexuality, are these promise rings a promise of man on man or girl on girl action? Or is it just a metallic, circular white lie (like Britney Spears' innocence. I'm told she gave it up at 14) of deception.

This is SNL

AITOOW discerned an overtly leftist return by the cast of SNL and their dwarfish Canadian Rasputin? They had been biting their tongues since 9/11 in cowardly corporative calculation. Now, fear and desperation makes them fly their true colors. What audacity and egotism that they presume that they can shape public opinion. Maybe they can invite David Littleman, Cohoque O'Brien, Bill Dia-Maher, Jimmy Crinke Cut and the fag from the VMA's to a symposium on how to left up the rest of late night. I would personally like to single out Beth Myers for his overt partisanship. You bitter Boston micro-phallus. You were so untalented that they sequestered you at the News Update desk. Just like your second class, ugly Red Sox, the Democratic party is a group of dirty losers. They will find another way to choke. You can only win when the other side gets bored of winning or when fortune swings so wildly out of balance. What is it like to have your whole identity defined by being rejected by the cool kids? To be the great unwashed mass? Is the root of the rage that seethes under you and every Mass-hole engendered by the same Irish curse that afflicts your neighbors? You hide behind a self-created delusion of intellectual superiority to hide your subconscious realization of your Darwinian inferiority. Really, Beth. Really. I can't wait until the backlash redounds to your corporate earnings report. Stick to what you do least worst - bad comedy.

I Like Ike

AITOOW sees a peculiar symmetry in that Hurricane Ike may raise gas to $5 which will give another Ike's (Eisenhower) doppleganger (John McCain) the election?

Jonnie Fair Play

AITOOW is giggling up a storm that political correctness is now being employed against its protangonists? Can you imagine the uproar if somebody said "I'll be a Monkey's Uncle" towards anything connected to the Ummer? Welcome to the Lipstick Farm.

I'm Tyra-ed of This

AITOOW tried to reach into the TV and strangle the ghetto rats that Miss Tyra chose for this year's America's Next Top Political Statement? Beauty really must be in the eye of the beer holder. A scank who was chosen to be the entrant from Asia (this affirmative action thing makes everything like the Olympics), a trany who was chosen to be the NTPS (or maybe it's the ugly dikeling), and the African representative went off on the innocent contestant from Alaska because she pushed the trany away from her in the hot tub. They said "she put her hands on her/him". Now, I don't want to get "all up in here" as they say, but, she barely redirected what is in actuality a man (pre-op) from distractedly smashing into her. Why don't you watch where you are stumbling She-Man? This almost smelled like a set up. The kind they do in the hood where you jump in front of a car for insurance money. Now the poor little girl (probably the only one without a STD) will be portrayed as the insensitive one while these three (others will probably join) cunts bully her into quiting. The most unbelievable thing that the ghetto Kimora Lee (like I thought I would see any one more ghetto) contended was that you don't do that where there from. Please. You slap a bitch for staring at you. I wonder if the producers watched a lot of Girls in Prison movies this hiatus?

Gloria

AITOOW saw Serena's Hippo butt at the Open? I really can't comprehend how body parts can grow that large. There was not even that much jiggle. Still it was funy when her skirt flew up and revealed that planet.

Suff-rage

AITOOW doesn't find it telling that the Mole Man says he wants equal pay so HIS daughters receive the same pay as Your sons? Self interest much? Would he be interested in this issue if it didn't benefit his own or garner him votes? Way to get out there on a limb. It's so unlike you to move against your self interest. It's also typical liberal "equal results" not "equal opportunity" dogma. Incidently, how do you accomplish this? Women are paid less because they persue lower paying careers, interrupt their careers in the peak earnings period, and have less of a skill set. But, I guess when we are all being paid by the State then those things won't matter.

Open Door Policy

AITOOW found it telling that the Black Dove answered as such - " I am inclined to believe..." when asked about the Fannie Mae bail out. It's not what he said it's how he said it. Lawyers are so particular it's funny. Especially when their career path is through public office. Will there be a press conference when inclination to believe turns into belief? I also found it interesting that he never penned a brief or article as head of the Harvard (I transfered in from Occidental) Law Review. You would think they would demand his preternatural cognition. Maybe he had inclined to, but never got around to it. He also, supposedly, never put his race in the application. Hmm, is it because Barrack Hussein Obama leaves no doubt or was he still inclining when the due date arrived? He has written almost nothing since. Inclining though. And he lost his first election campaign to his female mentor (who he tried to undercut). Maybe he should have inclined. Is the question this time around - Did you incline? Instead of did you inhale? We know he did number 2. Eew a pun. As DDL said in There Will Be Blood, "I look around at people and I see nothing worth liking". Applies to incliners too.

Face Men

AITOOW saw a marked shift in the hotness meter at the GOP convention? Were all those erection inducing hotties using their parents ticket on Wednesday? Was daddy using the tickets last night? Or did NBC (I was watching them because Campbell Brown is such a tiger on MSNBC- insert laugh track) try and show every doofus to counteract the sartorial dicohtomy between the two parties? GOP must stand for God 'Orn Pretty.

Idea Men

AITOOW who laughs when Hairplug and Curious George deride the Republicans for having no new ideas? Your "ideas" all cost money. Try coming up with some that don't. I have a new idea. I want an Astin-Martin. Oh, that's right it costs more than I can afford. But, good on me for being an idea man. Everyone else is so stupid. They need more of my good ideas.

Juneau

AITOOW thinks the media is doing just a bit more investigative journalism on Palin than they did on Barry? I wonder why that would be? I guess the pants suit lardass with the mullet was right - the real back of the bussers have a XX.

I Tell You What

AITOOW thinks Palin looks like Peggy Hill? Or Tina Fey.

Temperance

AITOOW gets satisfaction when they properly devour an item of food so that they are left with the perfect bite? It may be a plump, crusty piece of burger oozing with cheese or a piece of pizza overflowing with toppings. Properly identifying the perfect bite as the other less perfect pieces are eliminated is an art form. Save the best for last.