Giving The Sport A Black Eye

AITOOW wonders what's the deal with female softball players and eye black? It's stupid enough when 250 pound football players do it.

Pee Pee Or Plastic

AITOOW wonders on behalf of those of you who enjoy fake tits, how far apart on the continuum of acceptance a fake vagina is to fake tits?

Initiate Programming

AITOOW finds it exhaustingly frustrating that late night "news" programs can not refrain from labeling Republican candidates with pejorative adjectives? Of course Michelle Bachmann's political views had to be tagged with the "hard line" modifier by a smirking Nightline hatchet man. Of course they couldn't help "editorializing" a news piece. Of course they couldn't remain objective. Of course they couldn't retain credability. Of course they couldn't have just left it at "political views". I'm not familiar with (most of) her political views, but, how about you let me decide if they are hard line (whatever that means) and you just stick to slanting the evidence through prejudicial editing and leading questions. I guess that's is why they call it a News "Program".

Gaol!

AITOOW thinks that if the INS were at all interested in doing anything resembling their job that they would have every agent available at the Rose Bowl tonight?

Catch Phrase If You Can

AITOOW wants to thank the Golden State Warriors for saving us from having to hear "Grown Man Move" and "Momma There Goes That Man" among other inane non sequitors? For a little while anyway.

One If By Land

AITOOW doesn't understand why celebrity news/reality shows/etc (or anyone) hire reporters/hosts with thick British or Australian accents? It's not like those accents are desirable (to an American audience). And I doubt there is a lack of Americans who will spread their legs on the casting couch. So that can't be the reason. I don't see how can producers can demand that regional American accents (urban/southern/Minnesotan/New England/etc) must be stripped away while these equally bad accents proliferate. It's a disturbing double standard.

Whoomp Hair It Is

AITOOW thought it was funny that the Asian player who was playing Venus Williams today may have been playing her own hair?

Weenie In A Bottle (Blanket)

AITOOW thinks Christina Aguilera looks like an albino Snookie? Fatter of course. What would that mess look like without the breast implants or white hair?

Whordinary People

AITOOW thinks The Bachelorette should be called Sloppy Seconds?

It's That Thing

AITOOW thinks Jim Parsons looks like he could brothers with the Stefan character on SNL? Who would be gayer?

You've Got The Cutest Little Crater Face

AITOOW thinks Al Roker has been trying to "thug" up his delivery of " in your neck of the woods" since they started making fun of him on SNL?

Mortgage Bill

AITOOW finds it ironic that the result of Free Willy's attempt to increase minority home ownership is that fewer minorities are currently home owners as a result? And that whole depression thing caused by the artificiality of the housing bubble. I think he caused the end of that 90's cigar craze too.

Terms Of Endearment

AITOOW wonders how you are supposed to introduce your step mom when your dad divorces her?

Unjust Rewards

AITOOW thinks imitation is inadequate compensation for excellence?

The Demeaning Of Life

AITOOW thinks that distraction is all that is left once you realize there is no meaning (to life)?

Do I Look Fat In This

AITOOW thinks if girls spent as much time on the treadmill as they do shopping that they would accomplish what their shopping does not - looking good? Not to mention the money that would be saved.

I God It

AITOOW thinks people who credit God with their success are huge egotists? Yes, God selected you out of all others for his bounty. I also love how these idiots thank God for any aid they receive after one of the disasters he would have to have caused if he were omnipotent. The same idiots that claim God is omnipotent yet believe in free will and the Devil. I also like when they credit God plus something else (ie their training) for their success. If God is omnipotent then he can be the only source of your success. I also think "faith" may be the most intellectually bankrupt word in the English language.

The Password Is Sabotage

AITOOW is aware how the "retyping the word seen on the screen" process works? Most of us know by now that those words are from old books they are trying to digitize. What most of us probably didn't know was that they put one "fake" word in with the word they want "translated". The purpose of this is to check if you can "translate" properly. They assume if you get the "fake" word right that you will also get the "real' word right (the computer doesn't know what the word is hence the need to co opt you). I suggest we all mess with them. Type in the "fake" word correctly (usually the one that makes sense) and then type in something horrific for the "real" word. This will be hilarious and it will teach them not to presume that they can annoy us and get something for nothing,

You Can't Handle The Truth

AITOOW is neither surprised at the results nor the reaction to the article in Psychology Today that revealed that most people find black women the least attractive? What does surprise me is that any black person reads Psychology Today (even though we know that's not how they found out about it). I wonder if they will do a study on least attractive personalities? Or sensitivity to criticism? Or tact? Or do we already instinctively know the answer to those questions too?

Are You On The List?

AITOOW thinks it's funny that the job they gave the only black guy in Thor (although there shouldn't even have been a black guy in Thor) was "door man"? Also, funny that the only mutant that got killed (except the villain) in X-Men was the black guy.

Cream Of The Crap

AITOOW is aware that baseball teams get a supplemental first round draft pick for every free agent they don't resign at the end of the year? So smart GM's have started to load up on scrubs (that they have no intention of resigning) at the end of every season. Doesn't this work against the leagues purported aim of trying to create parity (giving the worst teams the next generation of best players)? The teams with the most money or who are in the playoff chase, are usually the ones trading for these players at the trade deadline. Is this all about trying to goad the mid-level teams to compete against the Sox and Yankees?

If They Ever Ask You Why

AITOOW wonders what kind of lesson you are teaching "the children" when you use "it's for the children" as your rhetorical disguise for every one of your self serving crusades?

20/30 Vision

AITOOW can't believe that in the past 30 years (after AIDS was discovered), 65 million people still couldn't keep themselves from putting their ding dong where it didn't belong (without a raincoat even)? I'm not sure it's a "gay plague". Sounds more like a "stupid" plague.

Speak Up

AITOOW isn't sure if John McEnroe would like today's players to come to the net more? I always thought he loved the net so much because it looked like a big line of coke.

I Know I Look Good

AITOOW thinks you should consider yourself fat if your skin touches your clothes? There should be some air in there.

Castles Of Sand

AITOOW wonders, if equilibrium/stasis is the object of Nature, how corrupted our minds must be if we believe that it seems alot easier for things to devolve into chaos instead of order.? Or in other words, how much harder it seems to make and hold something rather than watch it be broken or taken away.

It must be caused by the survival gene. We are captive to our immediate needs in a competitive ecosystem. We experience alot of frustration and don't dwell on the success we experience. That makes it appear that the whole system is unbalanced rather than our little piece.

Then again chaos might be the natural order. It doesn't explain the expansion of the Universe thing. It may explain it if you break "order" into units. At some times/places it is chaos. At other times/places it is order. And at others it's is shades of both. And the sum total may be equilibrium/stasis. Maybe our minds aren't corrupted. Maybe Earth is in the Chaos Zone.

The Price of Failure

AITOOW is going to remember at the quarter's close that auto companies and dealers tried to raise prices after the Japanese earthquake portended shortages of inventory and it back fired? Nobody accepted the price gauging. I'm sure executives will mention this as the cause of their poor performance when they explain the numbers..

Casting Couch

AITOOW thinks that performers who don't want their children to follow them into the family business don't want them to know what degrading acts they had to commit to get their opportunities?