American Idol Bong Hits

AITOOW can see that the Castro kid on AI is always stoned. Hmmm. Could that explain his insecurity/shyness (paranoia) on stage, giggleness, glassy eyed-ness, etc? Even his hair looks like a Thai stick. Why can't these (Snoop Dog) motherfuckers be carted off to the clink. How much evidence do you need? Pick the low hanging fruit 5-0.

Lame Shows

AITOOW finds game shows like Deal or No Deal and that lie detector show unwatchable because of all the stretching. Are they that cheap that they have to squeeze ever second out of an attempt? They have to bring in the relatives, badger the contestants about quitting, repeat action, etc. Here's a tip - shut the fuck up and play the game and play it fast.

CBS Coverage of NCAA

AITOOW can not understand how they have 4 games going on but lock you into one game. How many people care about any of the games in particular? It's like having a buffet and being force fed the salad. I want to see as many of these teams as possible (and especially the no names). Mostly because you cheat me out of seeing them all year with your equally inane regional coverage.

CEO Double Standard

AITOOW notices that when profits go up, they take all the credit and when they go down they blame the economy?

Obsession With Race

AITOOW thinks if black people knew how little others think about race, they wouldn't be obsessed with it. This is a corollary from : If you knew how little people think about you, you wouldn't be so concerned about what they think about you. Move on or get stuck.

Donna Brazile

AITOOW thinks this is Jessie Jackson in a wig. Wait Jessie's hair is the same length. They even do the same head bob and eye pop whenever they try and make a point. Jimmy Carter does the same thing. Must be some annoying southern affectation. They speak with the same cadence.

Steve Wilkos

AITOOW can't believe he's allowed to dispense advice and pass judgement (even to inbred hicks). He is seriously borderline retarded. There is nothing funnier than seeing him try and craft an impromptu argument for his point of view. He's such a cop - no brains and twice the confidence. Love them bowling shirts he wears. Even the producer's sign off (a cigar smouldering in an ashtry) is all class.