Corporate Frauds

AITOOW is incensed when they ask you to donate to a charity. They are the owns more able to contribute. You just know they take our money then take the credit and the tax deduction and trick you into thinking that they are upright members of the community who deserve our support. And if they match the gift, I'll lay 2 to 1 that it's from the employees of the not the corp. I just saw a Walmart add in which they say they'll "invest" in wind energy if you do XYZ. Yeah "invest". As in create a profit center for their own bottom line. Yet, it's more likely a privately owned corporation of a Walton family member. Suckers.

Working Class Stiffs

AITOOW is a little offended by the term "working class". It implies that only a small segment (of low wage earners) work. I believe I work for my living. How about you? Can you imagagine how they would characterize housework if this is a glimpse into their subconscious.

Economy

AITOOW didn't get the message that we had a good economy to begin with? When did it turn around exactly? Because the media and the Democrats (sorry for the redundancy) never let on that it had.

Prerfect Politicians

AITOOW would like a politician to (just once) admit they made a mistake. They moan about the impossible standards they are held to yet try and make us believe they are up to them. Which is it? Are you perfect? In which case the standards are reasonable and your moaning is unreasonable (which incidently makes you imperfect). Or are you imperfect and the moaning is reasonable. Robot Obama today on The View exemplified this obstinancy. He preached unity while still supporting his Reverend Wrong. Just say he was wrong and you were wrong in judging his character and will ask him to change or you will avoid his counsel. Unfortunately, we know it's not the balance of your work that is judged but your lowest point - (like what Barbara Wawa found to be similiar with Don Imus' speech on those nappy headed ho's).

Look Clinton is the Queen of Justification and Bush is the King. I'm not singling out any one pol. I'm just saying that in a country where mea culpa is a national pastime, it would seem that it would be a politically expedient tact to employ. I know they are trying to avoid the sound bite that is put on a TV ad. But, it's already out there in substance if not form. Why not try and repair some of the overall damage to the candidate by trading in for some good will in the credibility and honesty departments. Listening to Robot side step the issue I couldn't help losing respect for him in those categories and I wouldn't have raised my opinion of him on the issue in question. It was a triple loss. With a possiblle check mark for loyalty. Still a cumulative negative 2. And is loyalty something the electorate pines for after GWB?

*BTW - I spelled prerfect that way on purpose.

Samantha Harris

AITOOW has noticed how self conscious of her chest she is now again. When she hard those breast milk laden feed bags she was thrusting her chest and wearing low cut gowns. Now that she has her fried eggs back she is visibly less confident. Vanity really is great when unrealized. No Dancing with the Jugs for her husband.

Highlites

AITOOW doesn't understand why these women with black and dark brown hair are putting blond highlites in their hair. Here's a newflash Hoda Kotbi (and almost every morning host on NBC. Btw do they have a hard on for big chined ladies. It doesn't seem to hurt if you are black haired, flat assed, baby chested and Irish) - you're not Nordic (then again I'm not sure what you are). It makes you look as ridiculous as guys with doll hair implants. They don't blend in with the rest of your hair and they certainly don't look natural. You have black hair. It's kind of sexy. Stop subliminaly telling us you wish you were white and light.

Rhona Mitra

AITOOW wonders if Rhona Mitra (now playing in the horrendously awful Doomsday and most famous for her nude scene in Hollowman in which her fake tits did the acting) and Kate Beckinsale have the same plastic surgeon. I wonder how trollish they were before. Now they are just Frankenstien's when caught in the wrong light. It's sad to see how her nose job, face tuck and chin implant are causing the lines around her mouth to crease into gargantuan channels. Her boobs implants are also sitting like little rocks in her now deflated yet simultaneously gelataneous chest. One thing still is youthful - her acne. I wonder if it is caused by some hormone supplement or crystal meth? That could explain her slim physique. The Pricilla Pressely Club is now open. Oddly they both look kind of like Minnie Driver who: is notoriously uncomfortable with her looks, is not considered hot, was lampooned on Family Guy and has not had any plastic surgery that I'm aware of. Live by the scalpel. Die by the scalpel.

Mike Green

AITOOW saw this clown single-handedly lose the game for Butler against Tennessee? He hit one tre but must of fucked up six of his teams last ten possessions. I hear he was the Conference Player of the Year. Hard to imagine.

Source of Confusion

AITOOW can offer guidance to the millions of liberals who are soon to become suicidal with another Democrat loss in the Presidential election. The reason "your" world in no way comports to the "real" world is that like most people you choose to surround yourself with like minded people. No big difference there. The difference is in how you act. You are a bunch of opinionated loud mouths. You misinterpret this cacophony as unanimity of opinion when in fact it is merely a result of good manners on the other side. You see they don't want to be drawn into a verbal war with you so they just tune you out or humor you. You misinterpret this as agreement and then are bewildered when the election is not the landslide you anticipated. I hope this elucidates what must be a frustrating conundrum. Then again if you weren't always trying to shout down someone you could actually listen to their viewpoint or (brace yourself) reflect on the state of things. Not in order to change your opinion but rather to gauge its popularity. But, maybe you know the answer to that already and can't accept it.

American Idol Bong Hits

AITOOW can see that the Castro kid on AI is always stoned. Hmmm. Could that explain his insecurity/shyness (paranoia) on stage, giggleness, glassy eyed-ness, etc? Even his hair looks like a Thai stick. Why can't these (Snoop Dog) motherfuckers be carted off to the clink. How much evidence do you need? Pick the low hanging fruit 5-0.

Lame Shows

AITOOW finds game shows like Deal or No Deal and that lie detector show unwatchable because of all the stretching. Are they that cheap that they have to squeeze ever second out of an attempt? They have to bring in the relatives, badger the contestants about quitting, repeat action, etc. Here's a tip - shut the fuck up and play the game and play it fast.

CBS Coverage of NCAA

AITOOW can not understand how they have 4 games going on but lock you into one game. How many people care about any of the games in particular? It's like having a buffet and being force fed the salad. I want to see as many of these teams as possible (and especially the no names). Mostly because you cheat me out of seeing them all year with your equally inane regional coverage.

CEO Double Standard

AITOOW notices that when profits go up, they take all the credit and when they go down they blame the economy?

Obsession With Race

AITOOW thinks if black people knew how little others think about race, they wouldn't be obsessed with it. This is a corollary from : If you knew how little people think about you, you wouldn't be so concerned about what they think about you. Move on or get stuck.

Donna Brazile

AITOOW thinks this is Jessie Jackson in a wig. Wait Jessie's hair is the same length. They even do the same head bob and eye pop whenever they try and make a point. Jimmy Carter does the same thing. Must be some annoying southern affectation. They speak with the same cadence.

Steve Wilkos

AITOOW can't believe he's allowed to dispense advice and pass judgement (even to inbred hicks). He is seriously borderline retarded. There is nothing funnier than seeing him try and craft an impromptu argument for his point of view. He's such a cop - no brains and twice the confidence. Love them bowling shirts he wears. Even the producer's sign off (a cigar smouldering in an ashtry) is all class.

Pronouns

AITOOW cringes when he hears "hisself" or "they" instead of "their". Let's try and master English before we set about to "improve" it.

Thank You

AITOOW who understands that when someone says "thank you" the proper response is "you're welcome". I can't tell you how many times I hear people saying "thank you" to "thank you". Someone saying "thank you" to you should not be something you need to be thankful for. It's common courteousy.