GM BS BS

AITOOW can read through the spin. They're offering employee pricing because of their 100th anniversary. Not because their sales are way down. Just come clean. We all know you are desperate. Ever try and buy a car nowadays GM? It's like they're trying not to sell you one. Try educating your take no prisoners dealer network instead. Or rename yourselves Bait and Switch Motors.

RoShamBo

AITOOW wants to see what trumps what in the American game of associative politics or if people actually rise above that kind of infantile thinking. In the game of black, white, woman rock, paper, scissors which category wins out. I preume black is spoken for. And whites over 25 were spoken for. Now we'll see if the glass cieling is really the issue. Then again with all the race and gender maneouvering, it might be a wash and it will come down to a game of rich, poor, middle class .

Putin on the Risk

AITOOW thinks Russia is so defiant in Georgia because they think Obama is going to win the White House? They know he'll do nothing about it. I remember the same international hubris when they thought Kerry was going to be the guy.

Do As I Say...

AITOOW can't decide if stock brokers who tout stocks they don't own (supposed impartiality over skin in the game argument) are more or less convincining that those who own (skin in the game over buy my position while I clear out concern) the stocks they recommend?

Peking at the Right Time

AITOOW who has observed the following concerning the Olympics:

The Thin Beast is James Carville
Dana Torres is the whitest hispanic ever and she should be refered to as The Silver Fox
Michael Phelps proves poor grill work is hereditary and causes a speech imepediment
Shawn Johnson looks like a rabbit
Chinese gymnasts get home cooking
Sacramone fell off the beam because her huge cans can not be controlled
Chris Bosh is Jar Jar Binks
Bolt will become a cocky dick (if not already). Let's grandstand after the race.
Track athletes need to learn about aerodynamics. They're hauling around 2 lbs of weave.
The new swim suits really take half the fun out of watching women's swimming
All the tall chinese people live in China
NBC has some how cured pock marks. I've seen Collinsworth and Costas in public and they have craters
Katie Hoff is soft (love that deer in the headlights look).
Our divers are fat
Women swimmers have zero muscle tone
Cyclists have tiny wieners (I tried not to look)
16 is the new 12 in Chinese gymnastics

Re-Nuptial Agreement

AITOOW thinks that one of the principals in the the Shaq divorce realized that the pre-nup was working against them? Then again it's probably love that holds us all together.

Juan is Number Juan

AITOOW who finds it presumptuous and counterinformative that the spanish language teams to put the first name of the athlete on the jersey? Maybe you have to when every family has 8 kids.

All That Glitters

AITOOW doesn't think Michael Phelps is the greatest athlete even if he breaks Mark Spitz' records? I mean he basically does the same skill and some of those medals are team medals. At least Carl Lewis (although a prick) ran and jumped for his medals. That's two different skills. Then again he did it sans Russkies. I just don't think a swimmer can ever be considered the greatest. Now if they would dive too?

Devil Went Down to Georgia

AITOOW wants to slap these blubbering children in the face? Who wants to bet that they were protesting against US aggression a week ago? Now that they faced with a real world threat, they want, nay, demand our intervention. It's time people understand that this is not the United Countries of America. You are not our responsability. You can't even afford to rent us if we were willing to be Hessians. Oooh, you sent 2,000 soldiers to guard truck depots in Iraq. Oooh you let a pipeline go through your country (that's for Europe's benefit anyway). Big commitment. Why would you think we should give up our assets and our blood for nothing in return. It's probably a good thing you will be taken over. Maybe now you will receive a decent education which will allow you to stop thinking stupid thoughts. And by the way, what did you think would happen when you started this war?

Porceline China

AITOOW wonders if the rest of the Earth is shocked by the parade of athletes at the Olympics? It makes it seem like the whole world is caucasian. It reminds you that there are still some left and they are way hotter than the melange we're stuck with.

13.50

AITOOW was a bit embarrassed by the USA gymnastic team? These little dwarfs were yo-yo-yoing it up like a bunch of wiggers. You are faggy little acrobats. You aren't street. It's bad enough when real white men do this. In addition, you got 3rd. You are losers twice removed. And you lost 7 points in 3 exercises. Thank God the Russian saved your asses. Team members Dim Sum and Bollywood along with the guy who was portrayed as Mr. Calm choked like a gymnast giving his first BJ. Nice job to the two other guys (aside from the ridiculous chatter).

Name First Please

AITOOW doesn't understand why we don't "correct" the order of these asian last names. Like Yao Ming. Yao is the parent's name. Just say Ming Yao even if they don't do it that way. These are American sports pages. We've got a nation of idiots screaming the guy's last name. It's very impersonal. I might have called my kid by an asian last name. No wonder these dicks aways call me Mr. First Name when I travel. They do it the opposite way.

Chinese Sprinter Uncle Sam

AITOOW doesn't understand why you don't have to be a legal resident of a country to compete for them in the olympics? Why not just choose up sides?

So Long Camp North Star

AITOOW was happy the way things turned out on the season finales of SYTYCD and LCS? SYTYCD is stupefyingly more entertaining than AI. I guess it's the movement with better songs. For a person who thought they despised dancing, I really enjoy this show. Last night was fun because the best dancer did win and they brought back alot of the previous dancers. Even the old farts dusted off their tap shoes. But, the greatest thing about the show is the competitors. They haven't been corrupted by vanity yet. They are humble, likable, youthful and precious. You would think their effusive personalities would grow saccahrine but they don't. They feel real. And they make you realize how perverted the rest of the world has become.

And on LCS, Eliza won. Which is good because she doesn't hold back and is right on the money with her observations. I doesn't hurt that she's a cute little bunny with perfect tits.

All in all it was a night that made you think things aren't as bleak as they seem.

Guerilla Marketing

AITOOW was not surprised that they just found 80,000 gorillas in the wild? Of course the reactionary's were quick to point out that the lesson we should learn from this is that preservation works. I think I'm going go with - the scientists/naturalists: lie knowingly, are unforgivable negligent in their methods/conclusions, or have no fucking idea what they are doing. Tarzan say "standard deviation much?".

H-eye-brow?

AITOOW thinks that Scorcese ad for silencing your cell phones is horrible? The plot he pitches (jailhouse dad/alcoholic ex-wife with new husband) is even more cliche than he cliche he denounces.

Ludicrous

AITOOW can decipher what Ludah was trying to say with his latest essay on politics? The well received political scientist was not saying that Juan McCain needs to be put in a wheel chair. He was saying that the man is so old that he should only be trusted with a chair on wheels and not the oval office chair. He just rushed this opus. If he had given the issue more time or thought he would have given a less harebrained effort. Besides he needed an image that went with paralyzed. Them words are hard to rhyme yo.

Lispy Longstockings

AITOOW doesn't understand why ceratin NYC-bred starlits lisp like a Barcelonian when they speak. Do Gwenyth Paltrow, Maggie Gyllenhall, and Liv Tyler still wear retainers? Why do they ram their tongues into their upper teeth? Is it some sophisticated affectation from a bygone era? Did they get bad orthodontic work? Are they mimicing each other? Thereth thuthspicion out thhere.

I Can't Hear You

AITOOW wonders why black etertainers need you to wave your hands in the air and/or say whoa? You are the show...not us. Shut your shoo fly pie hole. Stop trying to augment your one minute act with two minutes of filler. And amuse us. This is not discourse. We pay you to make an ass out of yourselves for us. We are not in the making an ass of ourselves business. Or more to the point shouldn't be. That is your milieu.