Of Braces and Root Canal

AITOOW thinks that one reason kids are growing up quicker these days is that we have adults portraying teens in the media? If only there could be a rule that teens had to be played by teens maybe we wouldn't have a warped sense of image.

Freaks and Geeks

AITOOW is glad that Robot has chosen a Supreme Court nominee for their "intellect and compassion to interpret the Constitution wisely". Not their nationality or sex. I'm so glad to see this president rise above gender and racial politics. Thank the Earth Mother we will get someone who isn't bound to "applying the law". It's also good to know that her intellect and compassion to interpret the C wasn't questioned when her ruling before the same court was ajudicated incorrect a few months ago. That's no evidence of competence at all. I wish we had the British system and Judd Apatow could be the PM.

Day Old Box Scores

AITOOW who doesn't get what a child of the digital age wants with day old box scores? Now I'm no expert on the operational processes of a newspaper company, but, I could swear they used to be able to "hold the presses" for more games than they do now. I don't see how the speed of information could have regressed. Today for instance, USA today had 1 game in each league. Most of the games were east coast night starts. Not that I care to wait for the precious information to be put in print anyway. My fantasy league aggregates it all in real time for me for free every day. I just wish they would print the data they have on last nights games only. I don't care about 2 day old games. I am asking them to exclude all other box scores. It's just a waste of space that you could fill with other stats.

Captain Caveat

AITOOW hates having a lawyer as a HNIC? He is a master sophist. He'll say something like "No detainee at Guantonomo will ever go free". And then he'll tack on the codicil that inverts the original message. Such as "as long as they have knowingly completed an act of terrorism that we saw and didn't agree with or can't excuse under the guise of Anglo-imperialism within the hours of 6 and 7 in a month on the Gregorian calendar that doesn't contain a vowel".

I also like that his big solution to health care is electronic billing. Now I object to all public health care initiatives but where was the "credit" when Bush spearheaded the Presription Drug Plan? A slightly more tangible push towards universal health care than what the Obama Claus is delivering. N'est ce pas?

Latin American Idol

AITOOW thinks AI finalist Chris' mom needs to tell him something? He's got to be part Mexican. The Dad doesn't look Mexican. He reminds me of the gay hit man in Traffic. Is it wrong to want to smack his contorted face ever time he tries to hold a note?

Also, how has Shawn Johnson gained weight while dancing non stop? She looks like a Weeble. When exactly do you stop becoming a dwarf/midget?

Americaz Nex Top Mahdellll!

AITOOW was unsurprised that a model who wasn't even the best looking black model in the competition was given first prize over a quirky, yet inarguably more video/photogenic white contestant? Not only did the white model photograph better, she was unique. I wouldn't recognize the winner at Popeye's. I think Tyra was in the admissions department of my alma mater?

Ebonical

AITOOW wonders why black people don't say "because"? It's always "for the simple fact" or "for the fact".

Ghetto Hoopty

AITOOW found it telling that Obama's ride (sold on Ebay) was the Chrysler known as a ghetto Bentley? I also love how he flubbed cinquo de mayo and nobody pounced on it.

Hypo-crats

AITOOW finds it funny that Democrats are deriding Republicans as being the party of "no"? What was it exactly you were doing when you were out of power? What can any party do?

The New New Thing

AITOOW thinks it funny that "consumerism" is the new smoking? I guess we'll have to spread it abroad if it is to survive. Or sell it to the young.

Cohort-iculture

AITOOW wonders if the switch to group projects in college is an attempt to condition us for a collective society?

Fash-con

AITOOW finds it funny that people are wearing those faggy Afghani scarves ala Fruity Rudy in Generation Kill? Is any fad not stupid? And speaking of fashion inanity, isn't it funny how every year they recycle a trend from yesteryear and say that THIS is style? Every year the same designers say that other stuff (the shit they were pimping last season) was garbage. That old crow with no taste, Donna Karan, was on TV this week explaining that 80's style (shoulder pads, etc) was what empowers women and makes them look their best. Well if that's so, let's put a pin in it and be done with it. 80's fashion is the pinnacle. No need to design anything different. But, I thought you were excoriating it last year? How full of shit can one industry be and how dumb are the people that don't see through it?

And the Razzy Goes To....

AITOOW who continues to get rippped off by that fat John Goodman clone Seth Rogan? I just saw Observe and Report. I would like to report that I didn't laugh once. It was horrible. They were comparing this to Jim Carey's disaster of Cable Guy. That was genius compared to this. It was written by Jonah Hill's brother. He is as talented as Jonah the Whale is good looking. Can we all agree that Super Bad was the anamoly? A more precipitous decline than Kevin Smith.