And You Should See Them Play the Horn

AITOOW thinks that the women's swim team looks like chubby little seals in those black scuba suits? It's amazing that they spend enough time in the water that they get blubber for buoyancy and insallation. Yould would think they would burn off calories in the cold water.

When You Care Enough To Give The Very Least

AITOOW hates anyone who wears turquoise? The rock not the color. It's almost as ugly and drab as the people who wear it.

White Lies

AITOOW sees that it is open season on white men on Madison Avenue and Hollywood Blvd? If you are white and male and on TV, you are a bumbling moron. You are not hip. You are not competent. You are the bottom rung of evolution. You are so dumb that you won't even mind being made fun of. While the lack of uproar may add validity to that sentiment, it may also be that they're too busy running the world to notice. Lucky for them that I'm tireless. Oops I just put flour in the washing machine no wait I just cured polio.

Jack Has Two Dates. Oh no...

AITOOW is driven to anxiety and rage over sitcom foibles? All that unnecessary confusion and mis-interpretation and communication just riles me up. I can't watch it. Can't things just unfold predictably and without incident? The chaos isn't even funny? When did society decide this sort of material was funny? Because it's not anymore. Don't we have enough stress in our lives without inventing it?

Wood-stuck

AITOOW wants to slap every baby boomer whenever I see one of the million hippie-centric ads hawking Levitra, mutual funds, or Cadillacs. Just wander off and die already before you cause our society to implode. You were always self-serving and annoying. You gave us AIDS, the broken home and self-pitying ego-centricity. Now you are venerally infested, drug adled, botox injected Parkinson's indoctrinies who don't know when to shut it down. Nobody wants you. Nobody thinks you are cool. Nobody thinks you look great. 60 is not the new 40 (which is past female expiration anyway). Man, I wish this was ancient Sparta. Take your acid rock songs and "fade away" with Jerry and the rest of you dirty losers.

Momma Mia

AITOOW doesn't understand if "stay at home mother" is a term of embarrassment or honor. Are these bitches saying " I'm so ashamed I don't have a job" or "I care enough about my children to sacrifice my career goals"? You hear it all the time. I just wonder why they add the stay at home part. It's not really pertinent to the rest of us so why don't you drop it?

No Free Lunch

AITOOW thinks it's ridiculous that networks pixelate or place black tape over logos when those logos aren't sponsors? Do you not think we recognize the product anyway? Do you not realize that it lowers the production quality of YOUR show? Ever hear the phrase "penny wise and pound foolish"? Could you be cheaper? Just let it slide. Why is it that corporate penny pinchers can only deal in inconsequential solutions. And here's a tip - when your sales team complains that things like that make their job harder, don't buy it. It's a diversionary tactic. If a company is relying on free pub from on camera placement, they don't have enough marketing dollars to buy your old media spots anyway. And if you customer complains about it, tell them to get a life. If they are buying space from you they are obviously too lazy to advertise cost effectively anyway. The just want to blow their ad budgets as quickly and effortlessly as possible. Let's clean up the airwaves.