I Fill Your Pain

AITOOW remembers that Slick Willie was supposed to be the saviour of Haiti? How's that working out for ya? Do you feel like one of his dissatisfied and disease given groupies yet? Just another pile of coal he has turned into diamonds. He gives more pain than he heals.

Will You Still Need Me When I'm 64 Ounces

AITOOW thinks the Bud Light UFO ad describes the animosity between the sexes perfectly? The men jump at the first chance to escape from their women and then the women have a party because they are so glad to get rid of their men.

Two Jews Walk Into an Ad Agency

AITOOW wonders how that relic of a Borscht Belt joke about "why would they make this out to my father" got into that Chase commercial about depositing checks with an I Phone? Is there still someone that old or Jewy left in advertising that it would be brought up at a pitch meeting? This wasn't clever in the Fifties. The joke is supposed to be that Mr. Jewstienberg is the name his father is called. While he still goes by Moishe or Douche. But, now that he is of a certain age he is now a being called Mr too and I guess he doesn't like it. Hilarious right? It works so well in Red States too? Is it impossible for you to leave Manhattan to see what your actual customers look like? They don't look those two Yids and they certainly don't speak like them. I bet Chase does its market research by going to a branch in Midtown and monitoring the action.

Chocolat

AITOOW has bowels that decide that they want to be released only after they have taken a shower? Or has launched a turd into the bowl via fart propulsion?

Your Child Is An Honor Student?

AITOOW can't believe the level of cheating going on in schools today? I wish texting answers, cut and pasting text, taking Adderal and buying the answer keys for prepared tests from the book publishers were around in my day. Did you know most professors are now so lazy that they won't write their own tests? It was bad enough when they recycled them and people in the Greek system kept copies of them (and papers).

Live Free Or Fly

AITOOW thinks it's karma that all you politically correct douche bags now have to have naked pictures of you show up on the internet or have to be molested because you think profiling is a civil rights violation? I love it when you ivory tower critics have to face the consequences of your beliefs untheoretically. I also love the "open-minded" passengers that say that it's only a violation when it's done to women. No latent chauvinism there. If anything, we should worry less about women. They let their gynecologist finger fuck them every visit. Not to mention the peep show they allow. And I haven't even started in on the sexters. It's also disingenuous of conservative talk show hosts to now decry privacy rights and pro-security demagogues like John Mica to now say that we've gone to far. As disingenuous as now having Bush-era privacy critics now say that this step IS necessary. How is this any less invasive than the Patriot Act. Both presume you are guilty until proven innocent and are applied to all without a directive from a judicial body. It's all even more ridiculous because these measures won't stop people who put stuff up their ass or the millions of tons of cargo that fly with us unscanned. This is like having a smoker trying and stop lung cancer by buying an air filter. Maybe we should put the horse before the cart and concentrate on the cargo?

Ring A Ding Ding

AITOOW could give a fuck about Prince William's engagement?