Thursday, February 10, 2011
The Truth Is Loose
AITOOW finds it funny that all these lard ass girls (J Ho and Lardassian) who supposedly adore their disgusting jelly riddled bags of horse fat go on to do commercials after they have shrunk their posteriors to a less vomit inducing size? Guess they hated them as much as most of us (the ones with taste) this whole time.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
ET and JC
AITOOW wonders, if there are extra-terrestrial beings, are they in the afterlife? If you believe in it. How freaked out must those dead people be when they get to the after life in that case? And what if there are alternate realities? Do they all have their own afterlife oasis or do they all go to the same place?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Pooper Bowl
AITOOW noticed the super fulbs last night? Not the drops, phantom face masks or turnovers. I mean the grand standing idiots, out of sync dancing, technical difficulties, incomplete renovation, and lackluster/offensive commercials. Let's start with the anticipated train wreck of a national anthem. I don't know what's worse - the Cyndi Lauper looking Hispanic whore muffing the lyrics, her penchant for calling attention away from the song or the fact that many idiots didn't realize she messed up the lyrics. Next we have that disjointed half time show. Testing 1 2 3 anybody? Then we had those poor fans that paid for seats that weren't completed. Nice job Jerry Jones' ego. If people watching the game on TV outside an arena counts then then why not count the people in the sports bars, et al? Let's see this year you killed people at your practice facility in the pre-season. Ice fell off the stadium before the game and injured people. And you left paying ticket holders out in the cold. But, hey look we've got a big TV. And let's review a few of the commercials that shareholders had to take in place of dividends. Hmmm. Detroit is the place to be? Funded by bail out money. Detroit you say? Where half the city can't read. Open for business. How about that self serving NFL Old TV montage. Nothing to do with the greed inspired lockout. Right, owners? How about that 1984 clone. Inspired. How about any of the Pepsi Max drivel? I loved that one where the black woman nails a white woman with a can of soda because her lecherous boyfriend can't control his black libido. Typical behavior from the aforementioned. Lash out at an innocent white person because she is being eye raped by your satyr boyfriend. If this was backwards the NAACP would be calling for heads. Or at least pigs feet. You know one of those affirmitve action recipient ad houses came up with that one. And those Bud Light ads are so played out. Ditto for Etrade and Go Daddy. The only good ones were from Groupon.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Wrinkle Wrinkle Little Star
AITOOW is sick of actresses/women saying they haven't had plastic surgery when their faces look like the aftereffects of an allergic reaction. These creatures look like Stallone at the beginning of Rocky 2. Remember when the Leopard Lady used to be an anomaly? Here's the deal ladies - botox and fat/silicone injections are plastic surgery. As are laser treatments, chemical peals, lipo and those fat melting procedures. Grow up. Stop trying to find a cute word to cover everyone of your shame inducing actions. Girls Night Out Ya'll (not I'm Leaving My Kids Alone Again Night). And don't blame others for your shame. It's intrinsic.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
By George He's Got It
AITOOW finds the silence deafening as to the catalyst for the events across the Middle East? That would be one George Walker Bush. The same man who was derided by the same talking heads as naive when he postulated that the region would embrace democracy if they were exposed to it. The same douche bags who are now saying how inevitable it was. Since Afghanistan, we have (in name at least) witnessed the fall of despotism in Iraq, Palestine, Pakistan, and Tunisia. We have also seen it sought by Iran and now Eygpt, Yemen and Jordan (and possibly Lybia and Algieria). That was all caused by little purple fingers and open assemblies shown on TV and the Internet. Roosevelt and Truman defeated totalitarianism in Western Europe and Japan. Reagan did it in Eastern Europe. W did it in the Middle East and North Africa.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
God Bless The Child
AITOOW thinks Oprah's mom should get Mother of the Year? One dead druggie child. One AIDS child. One abandoned child. And one child molested at 14. Quite a record of excellence.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Double Checking
AITOOW wonders what people make of us when they call to confirm an appointment we have made with them? I thought that was what I intended when I made the appointment to begin with. I guess I just do things like that for no reason.
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