USA So Yesterday

AITOOW has read their last issue of printed news? Or at least paid to read it. USA Today doubled their price over night. This, coupled with their slow deterioration (and this is grading on a MC curve for a MC newspaper) as a new organization, was the last straw. I was only buying you for the crossword puzzles anyway and the fact that our local rag did what you are doing years ago. I'll just get my news for free on my tablet now. It wasn't really news anyway - was it? More like "olds". I've been a fool to have been supporting you this long. You never ship enough papers to your retail stores anyway. Operationally, you walk large margins of sales every day. It's a constant game of will they or won't they every day. I guess you are relying on that soon to be discredited consulting maxim - squeeze every penny out of your most dependable customers. You'll find out the hard way. You don't have as many of them as you think you do. Thanks for saving me the $300 a year. I'll use it to buy toner to print out my crossword puzzles.

War Against Terroir-ism

AITOOW thinks it's funny that King Barry will not negotiate with Republicans but will negotiate with terrorists (ie Syria and Iran).

The Ass Is Always Greener

AITOOW wonders if people in mixed couples know that their "mate" is seeking them out because they regard themselves as more like the people that mate usually dates? And they know that "mate" is more attuned to their personality quirks. And the funny thing is, the mate thinks he/she is getting something different. They are just getting the same model in a different paint job. And they will probably not run because they are used to that abhorrent behavior.

Stretching The Truth

AITOOW is amused by the "black don't crack" expression? First - that shit may not be "cracked" but it's broken. Nature just said "why bother adding insult to injury. Second - if it "don't crack' it is only because it continues to be pushed to a breaking point by the ever expanding accretion of fat beneath the skin. Although, the expression does give rise to a new urban legend on why white people are called crackers.

Looking For Some Hot Stuff

AITOOW wonders what the hell the people at Axe Body Spray are smoking? Women are getting hotter? Where? The ones who aren't fat look like Franken-creatures. There is so much bad plastic surgery, injections and ma'am-scaping that alcohol isn't enough anymore. And let's not get into the mongrel options or the ugliness inside. The one way in which they may be hotter is body temperature from all that pulp. Or maybe from the burn in their urine from the VD.

Hot Stuffed

AITOOW wonders if hot peppers are supposed to suppress appetite, why are mexicans and blacks so fat?

Mommy Queerest

AITOOW can spot an uncomfortable relationship between a mother and her male son(s)? All you have to hear is - "buddy". Any mother who calls her son "buddy" didn't want a son - or that son. I'm not sure if it's transference of hate towards the father, a reaction to an unwanted pregnancy or discomfort with the Y chromosome. It just isn't an intimate salutation.