First Rule of Dance Club...Don't Rip on the Choreographers

AITOOW finds it a little disingenuous when the judges on SYTYCD gush over every choreographer on the show? I know it's hard to criticize your colleagues (and probably more respected professionals in the field than you) but, come on, some of the routines suck and the dancers get voted off because of it. BTW was that jump into Joshua's extended forearms sick or what?

First Rule of Breakfast Club is... No Darkies

AITOOW wonders what is going on in that JC Penney/Breakfast Club commercial? There are black kids and then they disappear. They appear and then disappear. What is going on? Did it shoot without the black kids (true to the original) and then they added some scenes later to appease someone? Or did they decide to edit out most of the scenes with black kids because it was at odds with the parody? Either way, where is the requisite turmoil that these things engender?

U F(uck) O(ff)

AITOOW wonders why everyone assumes ET will be friendly if he's out there. What from our own inter-species interaction makes us think that they will be anything but intolerant? You shouldn't cheer news of life in other solar systems, you should shake.

That Speech on Polyester was so Organic

AITOOW understands that "organic" is not a perfect replacement for "natural"? Fine if you use it to describe plants. Not fine if you use it to describe movement, character, aptitude, almost everything else.

Part 2

AITOOW thinks they are seeing a return of the part? The hair part that is.

Can You Hear Me Now?

AITOOW can read between the lines over these statistics that claim black women are ahead of the curve in using technology? It says 36% use cell phone more tha 3 hours a day (7% for non black women). First I have to ask if this is a good thing or does it simple indicate that they waste time and money. I say it's because they are single parents and have to work or unemployed with nothing to do. 8% use Ipods more than 3 hours a day versus 1%. Come on. This is cultural. They have to have music. Once again I'm not sure if this is a complimentary stat. 42% spent $100-$499 on a phone versus 26%. This just screams poor financial acumen and ostentation. Once again - a compliment? 21% order products over phone versus 8% of others. This is a comendable offshoot over familiarity with their phone. But is consumerism a positive quality. Nice try at creating black/female esteem though. Some curves you don't want to be ahead of.

David Letter(wo)man

AITOOW sees this no-talent transmogrifying into a little old lady since he (allegedly) produced Harry? Hee hee. He is anti-gun (evinced by last night's criticism of a toy gun). He is anti-war (evinced by scores of direct proclamations). He is anti-Conservative (evinced by his Great Moments in Presidential Speeches). The guy is your classic rust belt/limo lib. He was always weird. But, now he seems afraid of his shadow. I suggest they switch his hormone therapy from estrogen to testosterone. It's even all the more infuriating because he wrapped himself in the flag after 9/11. I guess the shock of it revealed his true character (cowering shemale). You've been 100% secure since then Davida. How about a little gratitude? Do we need to get Jack Nicholson down there to give you they "behind the wall I supply" speech?

Hey Toni

AITOOW thought Micky would be curious as to why core-ogre-for Toni Basil said Twitch (black) and not Katee (asian) lucked out that his rotinue had "funk" in it on last night's SYTYCD? She also seems to have no gay-dar as she told Joshua that she couldn't see a reason why anyone wouldn't be attracted to his beautiful partner. Hello girlfriend (not me speaking just channeling) you work with dancers. Newsflash - they're gay. And this gay ...err guy is flaming. I doubt you'll be asked back.

I also wonder if it is possible for any of the choreographers not to devise a clever routine? Even though alot of them obviously blow. The suckfest on that show is amusing.

Cap In Ass

AITOOW wants to choke almost every presumptuous liberal demagoge on NPR? Today's irritant - some little op-ed prick reprimanding the cap in trade legislaton for being inefficient. Not because it's an unnecessary tax but because it is not a straight tax. While I agree that a futures market for energy credits is ludicrous, this prick wasn't even conscious that the tax shouldn't be discussed at all. He chose to give a double kiss off to any opposition. Not only is the tax necessary, you are a fool if you try any else than extortion to get it. We are so stoopid. Actually, you are if you support the exchange and doubly stupid if you support the tax not the other way around. He just has it backwards, as usual. And I'll add my usual sign off - why is it always those without money who think they know what should be done with it or how to get it?

Bob Dole Jr

AITOOW can figure out that it's bad for Juan McCain to use a hand held microphone when he speaks? It makes his entire demeanor stiff. It makes him look short. It makes him look old. It makes him look uncomfortable. He would have limited enough flexibility if it were just his tiny limbs and pot belly. But, his war arthritis coupled with a left side immobilized by the mic makes him appear as virile as that pen wielding candidate of 1996. He adds to the gerontology with a staccato chopping of his right hand. All in all a very sad, uninspiring image. I'm not saying a clip on will loosen up his frozen posture but it couldn't hurt.

Your Wrath Is Trash

AITOOW thinks Walt Frazier has a doppel ganger in the corn rowed judge from last weeks So You Think You Can Dance? What malifluous abuse of American lexiconography. So many misutilized wordtologies. It was pure magicality. Don King was impressified.

Great White Choke

AITOOW saw this kick to the crotch coming? Greg Norman really makes one believe that the Faustian bargain can be struck. However, in his case it's financial achievement at the expense of tournament success. How cruel it is for fate to draw him back onto the global radar only to remind us of the choker he was and apparently still is. Is this celestial justice for crimes we know not of or someones idea of sadistic amusement? Those three days of adulation and noteriety awakening the collective consciousness to what a choker you are - of how badly you handle pressure. Sure you will go back to your wine, clothing, real estate empires. But, like a bad re-make of Ground Hog's Day, you will have to disappear from the links for another ten years to make us start to forget your legacy - lost titles. I know the Polyannas will make alot of his "accomplishment" in just being in the conversation at his age and preparedness. However, unlike Rocco Mediate, this story is a sequel and unfortunately for the Shark it reminds us all of something unfortunate - your past.

Sounds Familiar

AITOOW hears plagarism more and more? Take these two songs that I've overheard recently. Mylie Cyrus' song I Can't Wait To See You Again, when it starts start singing I Wear My Sunglasses At Night by Corey Hart at a faster tempo and see if it fits. There is also a portion of the song that goes with "at her girlfriend or her mother's house" song from the 80's (I can't remember it). Next how about A Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfeld. Start singing "Quick to the point. The point no fakin'. Cookin' MCs like a pound of bacon" from Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby. You songwriters think we forgot. But, you're busted for lifting music.

Yellow Jungle Fever

AITOOW wonders if there is a minority group that Robot's mother hasn't had unprotected sex with? We know of two episodes at least. He and and his Indonesian sister. How many other flavors of the rainbow has she tasted?

Chris Elliot

AITOOW finally realizes who this half-wit has been trying to emulate all these years? It's Bill Murray. Needless to say that he doesn't measure up.

Fred Fans Mortgage Rate Discussion

AITOOW doesn't understand why they are saying mortgage rates would go up if Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac implode? They take the refuse of the mortgage market. The portion with the most risk. Plus those loans are off the balance sheets of the banks who initiated the loans those two hold. If risky mortgages are not being written then the quality of the loans will improve. Less risk should equal less risk premium attached to the prime and mortgage rates should come down. Now I'm not saying you will be able to get a loan but if you I think you should expect to pay closer to prime as usual because you are a better customer. Banks may try and squeeze more out of their customers to make up their declining profit streams, but, that could be penny wise and pound foolish. They need to rebuild the foundation (with quality low yield assets) before they can think of outperforming other financial instruments. Low mortgage rates to quality customers is the only way to do this. They might even get some re-fi income.

Scalpel Please

AITOOW would prefer that they cut out DJ Jessie Jackson's tongue instead of Robot Obama's balls? Will his Rainbow Coalition (or whatever it goes by) picket his offices and demand his resignation and sensitivity training? Will he escape this with a teary mea culpa accepted ad hoc by the liberal media? What does his bastard child think? You remember the one from the affair he was forced to own up to a few years back. He wonders, jealously, why people support Robot and not him. It's because his brand of mau mauing the flak catchers is so slippery obvious. Robot knows the new moves (based on subtlety and earnestness not guilt and sophistry). Jessie is still doing the funky chicken. Aside from the fact that his actions over the last thirty years have left him with the reputation as a self-serving opportunist gaming the race issue for his own gain.

Mortgage Default

AITOOW doesn't see what all the fuss is about over this issue. These people put no money down, paid no principal and would have been shelling out more money in rent anyway. They possibly lost equity appreciation they had no right to anyway. I don't see where they did worse than if they just rented.

Apple of His Adam

AITOOW wonders why Leila Ali has a deeper voice than her father?