I Fill Your Pain

AITOOW remembers that Slick Willie was supposed to be the saviour of Haiti? How's that working out for ya? Do you feel like one of his dissatisfied and disease given groupies yet? Just another pile of coal he has turned into diamonds. He gives more pain than he heals.

Will You Still Need Me When I'm 64 Ounces

AITOOW thinks the Bud Light UFO ad describes the animosity between the sexes perfectly? The men jump at the first chance to escape from their women and then the women have a party because they are so glad to get rid of their men.

Two Jews Walk Into an Ad Agency

AITOOW wonders how that relic of a Borscht Belt joke about "why would they make this out to my father" got into that Chase commercial about depositing checks with an I Phone? Is there still someone that old or Jewy left in advertising that it would be brought up at a pitch meeting? This wasn't clever in the Fifties. The joke is supposed to be that Mr. Jewstienberg is the name his father is called. While he still goes by Moishe or Douche. But, now that he is of a certain age he is now a being called Mr too and I guess he doesn't like it. Hilarious right? It works so well in Red States too? Is it impossible for you to leave Manhattan to see what your actual customers look like? They don't look those two Yids and they certainly don't speak like them. I bet Chase does its market research by going to a branch in Midtown and monitoring the action.

Chocolat

AITOOW has bowels that decide that they want to be released only after they have taken a shower? Or has launched a turd into the bowl via fart propulsion?

Your Child Is An Honor Student?

AITOOW can't believe the level of cheating going on in schools today? I wish texting answers, cut and pasting text, taking Adderal and buying the answer keys for prepared tests from the book publishers were around in my day. Did you know most professors are now so lazy that they won't write their own tests? It was bad enough when they recycled them and people in the Greek system kept copies of them (and papers).

Live Free Or Fly

AITOOW thinks it's karma that all you politically correct douche bags now have to have naked pictures of you show up on the internet or have to be molested because you think profiling is a civil rights violation? I love it when you ivory tower critics have to face the consequences of your beliefs untheoretically. I also love the "open-minded" passengers that say that it's only a violation when it's done to women. No latent chauvinism there. If anything, we should worry less about women. They let their gynecologist finger fuck them every visit. Not to mention the peep show they allow. And I haven't even started in on the sexters. It's also disingenuous of conservative talk show hosts to now decry privacy rights and pro-security demagogues like John Mica to now say that we've gone to far. As disingenuous as now having Bush-era privacy critics now say that this step IS necessary. How is this any less invasive than the Patriot Act. Both presume you are guilty until proven innocent and are applied to all without a directive from a judicial body. It's all even more ridiculous because these measures won't stop people who put stuff up their ass or the millions of tons of cargo that fly with us unscanned. This is like having a smoker trying and stop lung cancer by buying an air filter. Maybe we should put the horse before the cart and concentrate on the cargo?

Ring A Ding Ding

AITOOW could give a fuck about Prince William's engagement?

XXX Rays

AITOOW doesn't see why the TSA scanners have to show an image of a person's body at all? Why not have it reveal a blank screen that just illuminates any prohibited items if they show up? I'm so sure that they delete the files. How are x-rays of minors not kiddie porn? And does anyone feel that all their warnings to show up early are just a way to make sure that they don't have to stay later at work. If they push up time the last passengers go through security then they can get home earlier.

Rhythm Nation

AITOOW finds it predictable that the media isn't obsessing about Obrahmin's funky chicken in India? They only spent (and continue to spend) a million man hours replaying Bush's Macarena in Africa. O'Bami's moves weren't any less humorous. Funny how that just slipped under their radar. You know. The people who say they are just looking for material. The people who profess no political allegiance. The people who say they live to skewer public officials. Letterwoman? Stewart (What's My Name Again)? For- Lorne? Fawn-On?

Pure Bull Shit

AITOOW is sick of PBS's sanctimony? They brag that they are free and above reproach because they don't take advertisers' money? Not that they've been asked to. They just take money from the governments liberal wing and liberal groups. Not that it effects their programming. Just ask Juan Williams. Not that it effects their hiring. Just ask George Soros what his demands were contingent on his donation. Not that it effects anything - because they are and always will be a left wing mouth piece. Legitimacy? Please. You couldn't be more illegitimate.

Lose It or Move It

AITOOW thinks that somewhere along the line women stopped being taught that they are supposed to lose the baby weight? As if your stretched out vagina and divided attention isn't enough reason to switch allegiances. And that's a nine month stretch with your hormones and porcine apperance.

Yo. Play Nice

AITOOW doesn't get why the cunt wife in that Yoplait ad loses patience with her husband? What does she care if he is misleading someone else about what he's eating. Isn't the point of the commercial that Yoplait is a good substitute for those things. The way she's PMSing you get the idea that the product is not. And if she's mad that he's eating her yogurt, bitch please, you didn't pay for it.

General Moochers

AITOOW read George Will's column on GM today? GM's Volt is not an electric car as promised. It's another Hybrid. One that the government is paying you 7k to buy. Plus they didn't repay the money they borrowed from the government (50B). They paid back 6.7B allocated as a loan by using 6.7B in TARP funds that we gave them!

Majority Retort

AITOOW thinks that "reformers/tolerance bed bugs" are just lazy? They just don't want to conform. They want YOU to conform to THEIR idea of normal. Which is their latent state. Which is usually a fringe position. You do the work. Lay Z!

Dow and Out

AITOOW thinks that financial news copy writers don't understand percentages? How many times do I hear them say the "Dow Tumbled" only to be advised that their definition of tumbled is a 100 point loss. 1% is not a tumble. I would even call it a stagger. 5% maybe. 10% definitely. Please learn the difference.

Vet Backs

AITOOW now knows what two items cost Outback Steakhouse the least to prepare? That would have to be the Blooming Onion and a soda. And those were the only two that this chain chose to offer our Veteran's on Veteran's Day. It was as insulting as it was disingenous. They only did this to vary their marketing message and appear to care for Veterans. Their choice of reward shows how little they really care.

Stark Reality

AITOOW believes that the exhaust cloud over the Pacific was Iron Man? He also wrecked that Cruise liner.

Teach Your Children Well

AITOOW wanted to ask Joe Jackson if "keeping your children out of jail" is the appropriate standard for child rearing? Not to mention that Michael probably should have been in jail for molestation and drug use and would have been in a beggar's prison if they still had that. Additionally, was using a strap the only way to accomplish his impressive achievement? Was there no other method available? And can some one explain to the mother that Michael DID NOT ALWAYS TELL YOU THE TRUTH as you remember. Through your own testimony, you said you asked him about drugs and he lied. You asked him about plastic surgery and he lied. Why wouldn't he lie about diddling boys. You said, he said he did nothing wrong. Abusers never think what they do causes harm. That was not a denial, douche bag.

And to the Black Crows on the View - obviously punishing with a strap or a switch or a glare as the Black race does is an effective way of teaching your kids. Because we all know that Blacks are synonymous with good behavior.

Drop It Like It's Hot

AITOOW doesn't ever want to hear a liberal rip on Sarah Palin's manner of speech after witnessing the Gargoyle drop almost every G in his 60 Minutes interview last night? He did this in the election everytime he was found not to be connecting with rust belt crackers. He was also not sounding his T's. And when did people become folks?

And Away Go Troubles Down The Drain

AITOOW thinks that if you are going to get "lending" going again you have to de-couple it with mega-banking (investment and regular)? These guys make too much easy money dealing with Fortune 2000 companies to care about small business or mortgages. They dabbled when they could off load them but they have no interest in this business now (and that was before consolidation). They need it taken away from them before they destroy the economy. Let them concentrate on M&A, VC, PE, Financial Planning and Trading their own book.

This is partly why the TARP program didn't even "trickle". The pipes to the sewer are blocked. Now I don't know if the "Precedent" didn't anticipate this or it's part of a Machiavellian scheme to foster proletarian anger at the banking oligarchy, but, it happened. If he wants to fix it, he has to regulate or stimulate an alternative.

Wigging Out

AITOOW thinks SNL is overusing Kristen Wiig? She's ok. But, she is "every" sketch good. I see no reason she has to be in any sketch that doesn't include one of her characters. It's monotonous to see her saccharine face all the time and it stifles her cast member's growth.

This Is A Big Fucking Deal

AITOOW realized at the time that they were cutting their own throats? And now they don't even have that in their quiver. Their only hope for '12 is that Republicans go after Medicare or Social Security before '12. Obie goes home in '12 unless they let the Republican's have everything they want. Then he may stay on as a puppet. Nevertheless, their party reemerges in '16 after Republicans piss too many people off balancing the budget.

All zheimers

AITOOW has a memory? Richard Clarke and others have been banging the drum about cargo or bags not being scanned since 9/11. They told us a large amount of mortgages were going to reset after the economic collapse and that many people would probably default. Why can't even the media remember what it has reported on? Don't they have log books. Is the turn over that great? Are they that temporally challenged?

Here's a larger history lesson: Carter won because of Watergate. Reagan won because of the hostages. He won again because he borrowed his grand kids money and gave it to his selfish, baby boomer kids. Bush won because of Dukakis in a tank. Clinton won because Baby Boomers wanted to thumb their noses at daddy and Ross Perot. Clinton won again because of Silicon Valley and Bob Dole fell off a stage. Bush won because Clinton stuck a cigar up a fat girls cooch and Gore chose a Jew. Bush won again because of flip flops. Obama won because McCain looked like he could croak any moment and nobody trusted Palin with the keys. Plus white guilt made voting for a black man penance. And oh yeah the New Depression and IEDs.

In addition, can the "historians" remember this - every political campaign we say this is worse than ever. It is the same.

Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome

AITOOW thinks Ford's great turn around can be explained in three words? Toyota, Leases and Credits. Ford is doing better because the US government turned it's inspection spot light on non-US automakers, they get paid up front instead of spread out over time because no one can qualify for a lease and they carried forward losses from previous periods. That's a real, sustainable pattern.

Federalist Pipers

AITOOW thinks Hamilton, Madison and Jay would be happy that Tea Party adherents claim to care more about the collective Union than acquiring pork for their districts?

Poles

AITOOW wonders why Rasmussen polls seem to lean for the right wing candidate while the others lean left?